a question for you...

Last week, I got a phone call from a friend of mine who leads an international ministry for Pastor's Wives. She regularly travels all over the world talking to PWs and their PHs, finding out their needs, listening to their concerns, and praying with them.

In a ministry like this, she keeps realizing the incredible need to provide some kind of resource to new PWs. A kind of "how-to" manual to get them oriented into life as a PW. Not every woman gets married knowing she's going to be a PW. Some pastors enter ministry later in life, others marry girls who are brand new Christians and are still learning about the gospel. But even those who grew up in ministry-oriented families can get overwhelmed when they put on their PW shoes!

So she asked me if I would be interested in helping her develop some resources to help young PWs get off on the right foot. I said "Absolutely!"

And now I'm coming to all of YOU for input. Dontcha love me? Here goes:

What do you wish that someone had told you about how to be a PW when you got started? 
Or, if you're new to this gig, what do you wish someone would tell you right now?

Leave me a comment below, or if you don't want to share with the world, send me a private message at clutchtalk (@) gmail (.) com. And please leave your name on your comment, for research' sake... if ya don't mind?

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idea share :: local PW groups

Hi girls,

Janice, a PW in North Carolina, asks:

I'm starting a group for PWs here locally. Do you have any suggestions? My first meeting is scheduled for September 10. I've wanted to do this for years, and I'm finally doing it!

Got any ideas for Janice? Ways to contact PWs? Things to do?

Leave a comment below so she can stock up on ideas!

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chime in::planning unfamiliar events

After the June 15 post on mother blessings, Stephanie wrote us asking this question:

My dilema is that I am asked to plan events such as this (baby showers) but I am not a mother as of yet. What do I do?

Being a PW can really get you out of your comfort zone, especially when people ask you to help with things that are unfamiliar to you. It doesn't mean you have to say "No", but it might require a little extra research, and maybe even a partnership with some of the older ladies in church who could give helpful feedback. Who knows, you might even make new friends as a result!

When I am asked to do/host/lead something I'm not familiar with, I have a few standard next-steps:

1. Call my mom (or another older woman with expertise in whatever it is)
2. Google for ideas, tips, concepts, columnists' opinions, etc (i.e., for planning a baby shower, I'd look for task lists, theme ideas, and so on)
   
3. Chat online with other PWs or girlfriends who are creative and don't mind me asking for input
4. Make a list of ideas that come to me and narrow them down
5. Ask other church women to help coordinate aspects they're good at (decorating, food, music, games, etc)
   
6. Partner with another woman (or a few of them) in church leadership to be a team for the spiritual side of things (i.e., asking other PWs to say a prayer, offer a blessing over the mother, etc)

I've found that older women are often flattered and honored to be asked to participate in something I'm planning as the young PW, and if I'm willing to ask them for the wisdom and advice that they've collected over the years - I usually gain fabulous insights, and the beginning of a new friendship as well.

That's me - now what would YOU suggest that Stephanie (and anyone else who shares her feelings) do when they are faced with the unfamiliar?

Got tips?

Do share!

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thrifty ideas...

So, in case you need some more super-saver ideas to get your thrifty juices flowing, here's a few resources:

50 THRIFTY IDEAS

106 MONEY-SAVING TIPS

THE BARGAINIST

BILLEATER.COM

FRUGAL LIVING

Got a favorite resource for tips on saving and making the pastoral salary stretch a little more? Leave a comment and share with the rest of us!

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battling out the economy...

If you're like us, your pastoral family is feeling the tough financial times this year. My PH and I have sat over the family budget, trying to figure out what to cut and what to keep.

"If we get rid of the internet, we'll have more time together as a family and we'll save $65 a month!"

"But then, we can't pay our bills online, have to drive to the businesses or order checks and pay for stamps, and I (the PW) can't do work contracts online from home to make extra money. What if we got rid of your iPhone instead?"

Fine, keep the internet. And hubby states emphatically that his iPhone isn't going anywhere!

But we HAVE chopped our grocery budget, started planning our shopping trips to minimize unnecessary driving, and sold the second car to save on insurance and gas. We've cut our entertainment/eating out budget to zero except in emergencies.

You probably know how it goes.

So what are you doing to survive the economy? Have you gotten thriftier? Slashed some spending?

Do share your little secrets!

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quiet time - pitfalls, strategies, successes

We all know that one of the most important things we can do as humans, women, Christians, wives, PWs, is to stay committed to our quiet time with the Lord everyday. But it's tough, ain't it?

What strategies have worked for you?
Do you find it essential to meet with a small group? To systematically go through a book of the Bible? To purchase a curriculum and follow it?

What about your prayer time? How have you made this spiritual discipline meaningful and not a ramblefest or simply repetitive?

Would love to hear your ideas!

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mother blessings

I was at a baby shower for a church member when another church member approached me and asked when my shower would be (pregnant with twins due in Aug.) I told her that I wasn't really into showers and would prefer not to have one. What I really wanted to say was, "Can I plan my own mother blessing?" Yeah, fat chance.

More than toilet-paper-around-belly games and guessing baby food flavors, I would love a gathering where mothers share their advice about raising daughters, where they share their stories of how their mothers raised them, where there are meaningful prayers for the labor and delivery, where women bond in an atmosphere of love and support. Since I can't plan my own blessing, I'll just hang tight until I can do this for someone else...

Being a PW, you may be asked (directly or indirectly) to host a baby shower or this might be something you love volunteering to do for the women in your church. If creating a more meaningful event to honor the mom-to-be and baby appeals to you, here are some tips from a fellow PW, who is also a doula in Maryland.

Deidre has hosted and participated in several mother blessings. In this video she gives great examples on what to do, how to plan the event and how understanding what mother blessings are all about.




Resources:
http://www.blessingwaybook.com/
http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/blessingway.html

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a stitch in time...

Being a PW keeps us all busy. Especially if you have kids. Even more so if you also have a job outside the home in addition to kids.

So what are your little tricks for saving time?
Keeping things flowing along?
Minimizing the madness?

Spill, girls - we are dying to know!

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house blessings

Lots of people have house-warmings when they move to a new place. But as a pastoral family, the home is often a place for so much more than mere day-to-day existence.

A pastor's home may be a place for simple quiet meals, dressier dinner parties, or chaotic youth suppers. A place for small groups, bible studies, or counseling. A refuge for those needing somewhere to stay. Our homes often serve as a source of ministry to many outside the immediate family.

Have you ever considered, instead of a regular house-warming party, having a "House Blessing"?

I remember the first time my parents did this. Only a little girl, I still can remember the ceremony. Friends and family gathered in our new house for a meal and a good time. Then we all went from room to room, where a blessing prayer was spoken over the activities of each room.

Afterward, we hung a large framed artistic floor plan of our new home on the wall, with a scripture on the drawing to remind us that our home is also the dwelling of God.

The ceremony profoundly affected me. For the first time I realized that God actually cared about what happened in every room of our house. That he wanted to be part of all our activities, even outside of church and family worship times. That every single room was a place where he lives right there beside us.

Since then, I've particularly appreciated house blessings. It's a way to dedicate every room in our homes to God's service, while celebrating the experiences yet to come.

Have you ever done a house blessing? What rituals or family ceremonies do you have to dedicate a new home to God's presence and service?

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idea share: leading a women's group

Some of you lead a women's or girl's group at your church or in your community. There are probably a million ways to do this, but we want to know how you do it. Hopefully this thread will generate ideas for all of us to learn from.

Please answer these questions:

Is your group and ongoing group or does it have a start and end date?
What curriculum or plan are you using for study?
How often do you meet?
Where do you meet?
How many women attend regularly?
What is the age group or range of the women in your group?
Are the women "assigned" things to study between meetings (if so, please describe)?
What do you like most about leading this group?

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