the interview: holly furtick

THE STATS

Husband: Steven Furtick
Family: Elijah, 3, Graham, 18 mo
Occupation: Supporting my husband and caring for our boys
Church: Elevation Church - Charlotte, NC,

THE INTERVIEW

How long have you been married? 6 1/2 years

How did you meet? We met in college at freshman orientation, became best friends, started dating when we were sophomores, were in engaged our senior year and married days after graduation.

How long have you been a PW? 3 years

What is something you wish church members knew or understood about you (or your family)? I wish they knew that I am probably as nervous and tongue tied talking to them as they are to me. I want so badly to remember each name and person and often get so uptight about that that I cannot enjoy my conversation with them. I absolutely love it when people introduce themselves to me and tell me about how much our church means to them.

What is your favorite way to partner with your husband in ministry? I just love to be with my husband when he preaches. I love to sit through as many of his messages as I can. I love to support him and give him feedback and encouragement.

What's the hardest thing about being a PW? The emotional and spiritual stress that is difficult to explain.

What are some of the perks of being married to a pastor? SO many! Most recently, a lady in our church who works at a local resort and gave us an incredible upgrade on our stay. More importantly: seeing God move over and over again. It really encourages my personal relationship with the Lord.

In what ways would you still like to grow in your role as a PW? I want to embrace the position God has given me and make it mine. Not to try to mimic the way someone else views their role but to embrace my role and anointing with my personality.

What are some techniques or resources you've found that have enriched your quiet time with God? Best thing for me is having the accountability of a weekly bible study with other ladies.

Do you network with other pastor's wives? How? Last fall I attended a pastor’s wives round table with Lisa Young. I made some dear friends and look forward to seeing them at this years C3 conference at Fellowship Church.

How do you help your kids deal with the pressures of being pastor's kids? My kids are really just babies. I am not sure how much they understand but I always talk positively about church. We also allow them special privileges such as attending the worship portion of one of our services and going backstage to the greenroom and eating their Daddy’s food.

What are some ways that you manage alone with your kids during church services or other functions when your husband is "on"? We have a volunteer who functions as our family assistant on Sundays. My boys only attend 2 of our 5 Sunday services. They then go home with the assistant for lunch and rest. I stay with my husband for the following 2 services. He returns alone for the evening service.

In what ways do you think things are different for our generation of pastor's wives? I think the modern church has less weekly requirements. Our church only has services on Sundays and small groups during the week. My mother’s generation of pastor’s wives (she was one) was expected to attend Sunday night service, Monday night ladies meeting, Tuesday night visitation, Wednesday night service, Thursday morning Bible study and then start all over on Sunday. I don’t think the pressure or the “fish bowl” feeling is any different.

In what areas of ministry do you feel passionate about? I feel passionate about serving my husband and meeting his needs. I know that there are needs he has that only I can meet. I try to arrange my life and ministry to fit in with his.

What is the most meaningful thing you do to support your husband? I don’t know if this is the most meaningful, but my husband has a difficult time falling asleep at night so I never ask him to get up with our children in the mornings. I know that he needs rest. He never abuses this and sleeps til noon but even the extra hour does wonders for him.

Do you have any PW mentors? I so admire Lisa Young and the way she is always along side her husband Ed. I also love to read biographies of ministers wives such as Ruth Graham (Its My Turn) and anything else similar I can get my hands on.

What valuable lessons have you learned as a PW? I have gotten to see, first hand, God come through so many times. When we were adding a service or doing an event and we didn’t know if anyone would come, or when we needed a staff member or a new place to meet. Things like this allow me to be able to trust God in the small things I face day to day.

How do you fit the traditional/stereotypical role of a PW? In what ways do you break the mold? I love to dress really nice on Sundays (is that stereotypical??). However, I don’t think I am as available and visible to our church members as most pastors wives are, again because I like to focus on my husband’s needs on Sundays.

What are you reading? 25 Surprising Marriages by William J. Petersen. It features the marriages of many heroes in the faith such as Spurgeon, Moody, Luther and Graham. I just finished the first chapter featuring John and Polly Newton. Excellent!

What's playing on your iPod? A new song by Tommy Walker called “In the Light of Your Glory” But last night my husband and I watched Sheryl Crow in concert (saved in our DVR) for the 10^th time.

How do you like to spend your husband's day off? Taking the boys to a park with Chick-fil-A, them putting the kids to bed early and watching a good movie or TV episode with my husband.

What advice would you give to other PWs? Be your husband’s best friend, #1 cheerleader, and brainstorming partner. And say the hard stuff to him, that only you can say, but say it at the perfect time so that he will hear it.

Holly does a cool thing on her blog every week, she posts a Monday Morning Commentary with her thoughts on the church service and her husband's message. Check her out. She's The Preacher's Wife.

Have any questions for Holly? Ask away....