downsizing and unloading

Here I go again…It is the middle of April, and my life is about to go into a tailspin. There’s my Family Presentations for the evangelistic series to prepare for, VBS to plan, campmeeting to direct, the school year to finish, Eager Beaver Investiture to coordinate, Pathfinder Camporee to attend, etc….. Am I a “typical” PW, or am I the only that does this to myself?

This came to mind after reading Rachael’s post about simplicity (see Monday’s post). I love the Dick and Jane books, and I truly appreciated Rachael’s reminder to live simply. The main reason I quit my job as a teacher 2 years ago was to simplify my life. My hubby and I both felt like life was out of control, and that we and our children were suffering. We found we were just reacting to life, rather than living purposefully. We wanted to be more intentional and proactive with our boys’ upbringing, as well as our ministry. We knew that living off of one income would be tantamount to financial suicide, and that we would have to downsize. In fact, we lost our home over it. However, my husband and I agree that our lives are much more peaceful and simple now than ever before.

Yet, I find myself filling my plate with too many church responsibilities. When I was working full-time, I could excuse myself from duties without guilt or explanation. But now that I’m “not working” people expect more from me. The fact is, even though life may be simpler, I am busier now than I ever was! And to top it off, my house is even messier because we are home (there’s more opportunity to mess it up!). Yes, I am loving the quality time with my children and husband. But I have to constantly pray to God that He will help me to “downsize” my agenda.

As PWs, we fall into the trap that in order to be a part of our husbands’ ministry, we have to be actively involved. I do believe we have the responsbility to work in our churches, as much as every believer. But we need to remember that (in most cases) our husbands are the ones getting paid--not us. The most essential role we have as PWs is to support our husbands, holding them accountable to God and their family, and to bring up our children in a loving, godly home. We have to guard ourselves from the guilt of saying, “I’m sorry, but no.” But easier said than done, right?

God doesn’t want us to overload ourselves so that we can feel important, or because we think we can do it better than anyone else, or because we need to feel validated and affirmed. He does, however, want us to serve where He leads us to serve. So my challenge to myself, and to my fellow PWs, is to downsize and unload. Downsize the to-do list of meaningless tasks. Unload our shoulders of unnecessary responsibilities. Unload our minds of the guilt of not doing enough. Unload our plates of the burden of meeting everyone’s expectations.

Jesus said: "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30.

What has God led you to downsize and unload in your life?

© CLUTCH, 2010 unless otherwise sourced.
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God Cares

It was the day before church, and I had way too much to do to get ready. As a typical pastor’s wife, I had placed too many things on my plate for the weekend. I had to finish cleaning and cooking for the company we were having after church, prepare for the children’s class I taught weekly, plan the children’s sermon I was supposed to give, review the books of Esther and Ruth with my boys for Bible Bowl that night, and get ready for the scout meeting I was in charge of as well as a training session I was giving. And of course, I had waited until the last minute to do most of it! As I passed by my middle son, Adam, on my way to vacuum the downstairs I did a double take. The poor child was brushing his hair out of his face so he could eat his lunch without eating his own hair. He desperately needed a haircut. All three boys did actually. The problem is, it costs $45, which we didn’t have, to take them to the barber, and we had another week until payday.

I sighed. I knew this day would come, and I had put it off far too long: the day when I would have to cut their hair rather than taking them to a professional. Prior to this time, my husband would take all three in together to an old fashioned barber shop. But we just couldn’t afford it anymore. I cringed at the thought. There is a reason barbers and beauticians go to school and get paid for what they do. Cutting hair is a messy, time consuming, stressful job. My boys are old enough to care how their hair looks, and old enough to blame me if it turns out bad. Plus, I tend to be a perfectionist, and I keep cutting until it looks right. Which usually means I cut way too much off, and the end result is something of a buzz cut.

So I gathered the supplies, my boys, and my courage. My husband set me up on the back porch with a stool, laid out the various sizes of clipper attachments, and wrapped an old sheet around Adam, the bravest, and most in need of a cut. I prayed, took a deep breath, and went to work. The sound of the vibrating machine in my hand put me in a zone, and I imagined myself as an artist, perfecting a work of art.

Three boys and a lot of hair later, I could finally let out the breath I had apparently been holding. We promised the boys they could play with the hose (while they washed the vehicles) in order to rinse off all the loose hairs from their necks, ears, shoulders and it seems every other part of their bodies. I proceeded to sweep up the porch floor. It was a windy day, so a lot of the hair had already blown away. I thought about all the birds that might use it to soften their nests. However, I still swept up four dustpans full!. It was a strange mixture of brown, blonde and red (each child has a different hair color), and it had to number in the gazillions!


I was suddenly struck with a Bible text: “Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” Matthew 10:29-31

WHOA!!! As much hair as I just gathered, I was dumbfounded by the thought that God knew exactly how many there were, as well as how many remained on my children’s heads at that very moment. He cares for them that much. He cares for all of us that much. He knows us that well. Nothing happens to us outside of His will. Sure, we may make choices that go against Him, but He still uses those choices to make His glory known. As big as God is, and as much responsibility as he carries, He still is concerned enough for each little sparrow!

What a comforting thought that was for me on that day. Rather than stressing about how itchy I was, and how much I still had to do, I instead grabbed a Ziploc bag and dumped some hair into it. I called my boys to my side and explained the substance of my epiphany. The face on my 5 year old was especially precious as he tried to fathom it. He said, “When I get to heaven, I’m going to ask God how many hairs I have!” As I cuddled with my children, and shared God’s love with them, I felt a sweet peace flood over me. I thought of all the things I needed to do yet, and I gave them to God. He would help me accomplish what needed to be accomplished. Hey, I realized, at least I had my children’s story now!


© CLUTCH, 2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
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