casting call: employed by the church?

Anyone here employed by the church? We're looking for a PW to profile for an upcoming series (it'll be painless, I promise). Please email me at clutchtalk AT gmail DOT com.

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perk guilt

Often times our roles as PWs come with perks, like getting served first without having to stand in line at a church function, reserved parking, travel or members doing things for you or buying you things just because of who you're married to.

Not saying you should or you shouldn't, but have you ever experienced guilt associated with the special treatment?

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mother blessings

I was at a baby shower for a church member when another church member approached me and asked when my shower would be (pregnant with twins due in Aug.) I told her that I wasn't really into showers and would prefer not to have one. What I really wanted to say was, "Can I plan my own mother blessing?" Yeah, fat chance.

More than toilet-paper-around-belly games and guessing baby food flavors, I would love a gathering where mothers share their advice about raising daughters, where they share their stories of how their mothers raised them, where there are meaningful prayers for the labor and delivery, where women bond in an atmosphere of love and support. Since I can't plan my own blessing, I'll just hang tight until I can do this for someone else...

Being a PW, you may be asked (directly or indirectly) to host a baby shower or this might be something you love volunteering to do for the women in your church. If creating a more meaningful event to honor the mom-to-be and baby appeals to you, here are some tips from a fellow PW, who is also a doula in Maryland.

Deidre has hosted and participated in several mother blessings. In this video she gives great examples on what to do, how to plan the event and how understanding what mother blessings are all about.




Resources:
http://www.blessingwaybook.com/
http://www.naturalbirthandbabycare.com/blessingway.html

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chime in: questions from you (8)

Time to chime in! Here's a question from a reader:

"My husband recently received his 4th church to pastor. I'm a bit overwhelmed! It kinds feels like "run, run, run." Right now, I don't feel like I really belong to any one of the 4 churches. When we moved to this district there were only two churches my husband pastored and we spent one worship day completely with one church and the next worship day with the 2nd church. Any tips on how to cope, how to take time off? Thanks."

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our PW power...

Back when my husband was in seminary, I remember spending an afternoon at the tennis courts with another pastoral couple we'd met. After a few doubles games, the other wife and I took a breather on the sidelines. And she started telling me how much she hated being a PW.

"It's like all these people expect me to say Hi to them at church, when I don't even want to be there! And I HATE having people in my house! And think I want to listen to their problems. Can't they tell that I don't care one bit?"

I really didn't know what to say. I felt that God called my husband to be a pastor, and since he'd called me to be my husband's wife I'm called too. And I have the power to make him happy at home, to make him feel loved and honored and respected. To give him the courage to live out his divine calling. Even when it's unpleasant.

Being a PW is personally invasive. You share your husband with dozens or hundreds of other people who feel their claim to him is as valid as yours. You serve more than you are served.

But it's not just a job. It's a calling. From God.

And as wives, we can either choose to embrace that calling, or we can make our PH's existence a living hell. No godly man wants to choose between making his wife happy and rejecting the call of God. But when we as PWs can't support God's calling to our husbands - our men are faced with an excruciating set of options:

• leave the ministry
• leave the marriage
• live in misery

A wise PW told me that her dearest friend was a doctor's wife. They could relate. Both had married men with callings. Both shared their husbands with large audiences. Both endured times alone while the men worked unusual hours. Both had to learn how to entertain and cook and hostess groups in their homes because of their husbands' work - whether they naturally loved it or not.

Sometimes as PWs we all wish we could just be normal. Just sit through church. Just be a member. But how realistic is that?

Every woman married to a man of influence has unique duties. Senators' wives. Lawyers' wives. Executives' wives. Doctors' wives. Pastors' wives.

We hold the power to make our "men of influence" happy, safe and secure in their marriages so that they are free to serve God and others. It's that very calling that makes our husbands different, special.

It's what makes them the men we love.

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