the legacy we leave (part 1)

There are days when I (Sarah) wish I wasn't a PW. And not for the reasons you might think.

Not because of the long hours. Not because there are 600 other people who feel strongly about their stake of "ownership" on my PH's time. Not because I miss sitting together with my husband's arm around me in church. (Although, on certain days, all of those things have crossed my mind, I'll admit!)

But, while no PW is perfect (and I hope you're not self-imposing that expectation), some days it would be nice to just be "normal". Like the days when you make a quick run to the grocery store in your grungiest sweats with greasy hair - and you're guaranteed to run into the most well-dressed member of your church at the checkout line.

Or the days when you're tired, cranky and in a rush - and you honk loudly at the driver that just cut you off, only to realize that it was someone from church. And they DEFINITELY recognized your car.

*Sigh*

Being a PW can sometimes feel like being an ambassador. Yes, we are human. But so are the people around us - and they still form opinions about us, our husbands, and our church based on how they see us act.

Sometimes it would be so nice to just have some time "off" from being under observation. To just shrug off the responsibility of being a representative.

But I suppose Jesus didn't ever have a time where he wasn't responsible for his actions and words, either.

(...to be continued...)

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making it all about Jesus...

It's pretty easy to get caught up in the business of living. Sometimes we all lose focus on being daughters of God. It seems easy to forget why we exist, even when we are living lives of everyday ministry to others as a pastoral family.

So let's share some ideas together. What are the little things that you do to keep daily activities all about Jesus? To keep your own spiritual focus?

How do you remind yourself that our whole purpose of existence is to share Jesus with others through everything we do?

Do you:

• play sacred music as you do housework instead of leaving the TV on?
• keep a little pack of scripture memory verses by the toilet instead of magazines?
• put inspirational quotes on the refrigerator or the bathroom mirror?

Or something totally different and creative?

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helping kids understand daddy's job

I recently read an online topic thread where someone wrote:

Being a Pastor's Kid (PK) is like being the child of a celebrity, just without the money.

As PWs we all know that sometimes life in a pastoral family is rewarding, and sometimes it's tough. In our final post of this PMS week on supporting our PHs, we can't leave our kids out of the picture.

Our attitudes as the PW and the Mom, can make a big difference in how our kids feel the pressure of dad's ministry career. We can pass on a sour disposition, or we can help them find the meaningful side of things - our choice. And sometimes easier said than done...

No matter how "normal" a life we try to provide for our children, they are still the pastor's kids. It's an unavoidable fact of reality. So what can we do to help them cultivate a sense of value and respect for dad's work? Here's a few of our ideas:

1. Be honest with them about dad's work. Protect them from what they don't need to know, but don't hide the real facts of ministry from them. Be open and transparent.
   
2. Get them involved in serving others - let them see some of the things that dad and mom do, so that they don't feel stuck on the fringes of your ministry. Give them their own role to play. Make it a whole-family way of living.
   
3. Build up their respect and appreciation for their Pastor Dad's calling in the way that you talk about people at church and your family's life of ministry.
4. Hold them accountable to whatever standard you set for them, because that's who you are as a family, not because Dad is the pastor or because people might talk. If it's worth doing, doing for the right reason - because God asks you to do it, instead of to please (or avoid displeasing) other people.
5. Be excited about church. Kids catch on to your enthusiasm, especially when they are little. Talk about church during the week, sing their songs from children's classes at home, study their lesson with them - make church something they look forward to. If you hate being at church, they will too.

Got more ideas? Share how you help your kids support daddy.

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counting conversations...

Ever feel like your interaction with other people is just surface talk?

Sometimes I (Sarah) wish I could feel like I was doing more to help people. Those are the times when my husband kindly reminds me that we rarely get to see the fruit of our interaction - and we'll never know the true results until we get to heaven.

But now and then, don't you just get the urge to know you're making a difference NOW?

What if we could do that by re-evaluating our perception of what it means to share Jesus? As PWs, we interact with a LOT of people. Sometimes more than we'd like. Whether we like it or not, whether we admit it or not, people take notice of what we say and do - no matter how humble or invisible we may be.

What if we didn't worry about counting conversions or wishing we could see how our ministry will affect that person's future?

What if we counted conversations instead?

Conversations about Jesus, or about the things Jesus has done for us and can do for others.

If we're alert, these conversations can sneak up on us in the most unexpected places. Like the young man working at Sally's Beauty Supply a couple of weeks ago when I went to buy shampoo. I had a teen girl from church with me, and he asked if we were sisters.

"No, I'm her pastor's wife," I replied.

"Really?" he sounded interested. "Where?" I told him. "Cool! I just got married, and my wife and I haven't really found a place we like yet."

Mental note to self: never brush past an opportunity to talk about Jesus! "What are you looking for?" I asked.

"Someplace that isn't safe," he replied. "We want challenge, not the boring status quo."

I invited him to check out our Friday night LIFEgroup for young adults - a place of deep bible study, warm fellowship, and yummy food. And I mentioned the yearly mission trips to the Amazon interior that my PH coordinates.

Will I see him again? I hope so, but you never know. Did I "convert" him - definitely not. But isn't that why Jesus gave the Holy Spirit?

And while I don't have a clue what will happen next in his life, I do know that God gave me an opportunity for a conversation. And thankfully, this time, I wasn't too dense to notice.

Counting conversations about Jesus, and making a pact with myself to never pass up an opportunity has not only changed the way I feel about ministry, but it keeps me accountable to the calling God has given me as a PW.

How would your ministry and outlook on life change if you counted conversations?

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does your church live stream services?

It'll probably be several weeks before I step foot inside a church again (here's why), but I thought it would be a great time to church hop -- virtually that is -- and visit some of the Clutch ladies' churches.

So, if your church live streams or archives their video sermons, please leave a comment with the name of your church and the link to the stream. I'd love to visit and experience your worship service and listen to a word from your PH.

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