PMS: prioritizing while working full-time

Name: Felicia Thomas

Her story:

At a recent Family Life Weekend to Remember conference I attended with my dear husband, I learned that my priorities were way out of line. As a wife and mother, my first priority is to grow in my relationship with God, second to respect and support my husband and third to teach and train my children. Everything else in my life should be ordered around these top three priorities.

Well, as a working mom who longs to be a stay at home mom, I knew I had some repenting to do. I teach and when school is in, I am usually running on fumes spiritually. The first thing to go out of my schedule is regular time in prayer and God’s Word. I know some of this resulted from my spiritual lukewarmness, but as the demands of being a working mother take their toll, the easy thing to put off became my time with the Lord. I realized also that I was angry with the Lord because I want to be a stay-at-home mom, but financially we cannot meet our obligations when I don’t contribute to the finances.

Fatigue sometimes makes it hard for me to be a supportive wife. I can be more critical of my husband because I feel overwhelmed and so I begin to attack his choices. The children become a blur in all of this. I find myself impatient with them and too tired to teach and train them, opting for more television time and more lying around.

I believe one can balance being a working parent by the power of the Holy Spirit.

• Prioritize time in prayer and God’s word.
  
• Enlist the Holy Spirit’s help to guide you through your day.
  
• Keep your fellowship with God at all times because He will strengthen you.
  
• Make sure you are seeking first His kingdom and listening to His voice regarding your choices and scheduling.
  
• In all things and situations give thanks for this is the will of God for you.

Do not take your frustrations out on your husband. Try to maintain a gentle and quiet spirit and reserve energy for him. The best way to continue to be supportive is to keep the lines of communication open and make sure you communicating your needs. I remind my husband that we are a team and in order for our home to operate smoothly he has to help me around the house.

Decide how much of your time your job will consume and set healthy boundaries. As a teacher, I made a conscious decision that I would not leave my children in daycare for more than nine hours a day. When I can pick them up sooner I do. Now as a mother of four boys, I try very hard to leave work at work and be available to my boys when I get home. I am intentional about family night and making sure the time we have together is quality.

Lastly, my advise for working PWs out there is to schedule some recharge time as often as you can, so you can present your family and God with your best.

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PMS: part-time flexibility

Name: Cindy Beall

Work Set-up: I work from home in a part-time role. I work remotely for a small company in Ft. Worth, Texas, as the assistant to the President. I have an Education Degree and taught school for 4 years before having children. I taught while we were in ministry, but once children entered our world, I wanted to stay home.

Advantages: FLEXIBILITY! I can still carpool, run errands, get together with friends and other things. I just have to make sure my work is complete. I love the fact that nothing really changes in my day if one of my children has to stay home from school.

Disadvantages: There aren’t any, really. If you want to work part-time, I have the dream job. And an amazing boss.

Affects on my husband’s ministry: It affects our family life and ministry positively by providing a little extra income each month. The only way I think it affects it negatively is when I have to do work at night during busy times. But for the most part, my husband and I agree that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

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PMS: stay-at-home +

Name: Shane Schwichtenberg

Work set-up:
"In the beginning..." I was a school teacher. I taught special education in elementary schools as well as first grade. During my last year of teaching I gave birth to our first daughter. We decided that I should stay home with the baby. Daycare was too expensive and I was ready for the change. Plus staying home would provide me more opportunity to get involved at church (we had just moved to this location only a year before). Being a stay-at-home mom proved much harder than any classroom ever.

Now my husband and I have two daughters, ages 6 & 8. I am still at home and remain involved at church with women's ministry and leading music. Starting in college I worked at health clubs part-time teaching group exercise classes. I continue with that today. This fall I hope to teach more classes during the daytime while my kids are at school.

What are some of the advantages of your set-up?
I love the time I have during the day to meet with people. I lead a Bible study for moms in the morning, meet over lunch with women needing to talk and speak to other church groups about my journey with Christ. On days I'm not busy, my husband and I try to meet for lunch. It's helpful for us to connect during the day since he is often gone in the evenings.

What are some disadvantages?
I miss my outlet at my full-time job. It's an identity totally separate from church. However, working part-time does help. Also, financially we are struggling.

In what ways does your set-up affect (positively or negatively) your husband's ministry?
The congregation loves seeing me active. For whatever reason, people enjoy seeing their pastor's wife engaged and happy. I found my niche with both women's ministry and leading music. I've met some really great people and feel free to be me. My husband enjoys my participation at church just the same when he sees another church member getting involved. I wouldn't be able to do what I do if I worked full-time. It works for me, but I know it's not for every pastor's wife.

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PMS week: PWs and their work

Do you work outside the home? Do you work along side your husband in ministry? Do your career and your career ambitions sometimes clash with your husband's role as a pastor? This week we'll be exploring the many different ways PWs have chosen to balance work, family, life and ministry. You'll get a glimpse of their lives and the pitfalls and advantages of their situations. We want to hear from you too. How have you made things work for your family? What sacrifices have you had to make in the struggle to prioritize? How has your role as PW affected your career choices? Anyone give up a career and struggle with loss of identity?

Talk to us!

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quiet time - pitfalls, strategies, successes

We all know that one of the most important things we can do as humans, women, Christians, wives, PWs, is to stay committed to our quiet time with the Lord everyday. But it's tough, ain't it?

What strategies have worked for you?
Do you find it essential to meet with a small group? To systematically go through a book of the Bible? To purchase a curriculum and follow it?

What about your prayer time? How have you made this spiritual discipline meaningful and not a ramblefest or simply repetitive?

Would love to hear your ideas!

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