keeping our children's hearts

"Mom, I'm so happy to be part of this family. I'm glad you and Dad give us consequences so we learn how to be better." 

Wow! Hearing those words from my 12-year-old son made me want to melt, cheer from the roof-tops and hug him like crazy all rolled into one! 

We've been struggling with pre-adolescent attitudes lately and wondering how to keep close while still keeping in control. These words made me glimpse a little bit that what we are doing IS making a difference.

As I was growing up, I had lots of friends that were PK's (pastor's kids). And now with the wonderful world of social networking, I've reconnected with many of them. Unfortunately, my heart is sad to see how things have turned out for them. Downhill. Totally living for self. What happened? 

But isn't that so often what DOES happen with pastor's kids? 

Why do PK's so often choose the opposite of how they've been raised?

These are questions that have been on my heart since my husband started pursuing pastoral ministry 2 1/2 years ago. We're in the beginning stages right now, with Brad taking classes towards his theology degree and serving as the assistant pastor at our local church. But we've already seen how demanding of my hubby's time this life can be. Very rewarding, but busy.

So, is it just something that I need to resign myself to? "Teens will be teens" and "Kids will be kids"? Is it inevitable that pastor's kids will go through rebellion, maybe finally choosing a different way than we so desire for them? Do our children have to go through that "stage?"

I submit that the answer can be "No." In reading a book by Steve and Teri Maxwell entitled "Keeping the Heart of Your Children," I've seen that it isn't necessary for our kids to have to go through a time period where they hate their parents and rebel. Yes, they will become independant, but they don't have to do that with an attitude!

Before going back to school, my husband was a boys' residence dean at a boarding high school. This was not a place for troubled kids, but so often we saw issues that the teens had that, as we worked with the parents, we saw stemmed from their upbringing. Scary! I'm sure you would agree with me that the greatest desire of your heart is for your children to be true followers of Jesus. 

So, how do we do it!!???

I don't have all the answers and there are very many days when I feel like I'm at the bottom of the expert pile! But I feel that God is bringing the subject of keeping my children's hearts to the forefront of my mind and giving me ideas of how to do just that. Praise Him for sure, since I tend to revert to how I was raised: hollering and yelling, when left to my own ways.

So... take some time today to think about your PK's. 

Do you have their hearts? Who would they rather spend time with the most? How do they respond to correction? Is their heart turned to God? Or is it turned to whatever their friends are into? How much time do you spend together as a family as opposed to how much time your kids are elsewhere?

Let's answer those questions in our hearts and then talk to God. Ask Him if there is something we can do to show our kids that above everything, we love them so much. We love them enough to raise them with a higher view in mind... heaven. 

It's really easy to let the world's ways and views take over in our own homes. Let's pray that God can put a hedge of angels around our children and protect them from the strong pull of the world, which eventually pulls them away from us as their parents and ultimately, away from God.

I'm praying for all us moms (and dads) who want to keep our children's hearts!

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