Love Series::Treat Him Like A King (pt 2)

In the book Treat Him Like A King, by Pastor Sheila, one of the key scriptures is Ephesians 5:33 amplified version.

Have you ever read that in the Amplified Version? It is amplified alright: However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [^[a]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and ^[b]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.

That is twelve ways for us to show our love. Respect, Reverence, Notice, Regard, Honor, Prefer, Venerate, Esteem, Defer, Praise, Love, and Admire. Now girls, I would be lying if I told you I did all twelve all seven days of the week.

Pastor Sheila clearly focuses on this scripture throughout her book. I was convicted on points where I fall short and that’s because I thought I was above average; I adore my man. Not to mention I had to look up the word venerate. (thought I’d make you laugh) Now, I’d like to also point out that this is a command from the Lord. We have twelve days till Valentines, wouldn't it be awesome to focus on one of these each day, building the habit of living Ephesians 5:33 daily. I'd say so. Who doesn't want to build their marriage and what better way to do it then biblically.

I can hear some women saying, you just don't know and understand our marriage, this would be over the top for us. I get that. But it's not about where you are, but where you would like to be. It's about obeying the word in our own respects. It WILL look different for everyone, but it's the glue that God gives us, the insight we ask for on how to strengthen and bind us together with our man. It's the ingredients for a healthy marriage. I invite you to look up the definition of each of the twelve words and make a plan on how you can implement those. When I first read this book, I did. My list looked like this: check, check, work on that, check, check, work on that, work on that, check - you get the picture. I don't know about you but I like keeping our marriage hot and fresh.

So ladies - Ephesians 5:33 amplified version. Let's do it!

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Love Series:: Treat Him Like a King

Treat him like a King. That is a hard pill for some to swallow, for other’s it’s their pleasure. My friend Pastor Sheila who co-labors with her husband Dr. Poole in Vegas at Destiny Christian Center wrote a book entitled Treat him like a King. That is the inspiration for our love series over the next few days. When I received my copy in the mail, I read it in two days cover to cover. What I love most about her book is her candidness and disclosure about her marriage and their perspective on doing life together.

Chapter 7 of her books addresses “Blowing his mind”. When you stop and think about it; really, when was the last time you went out of your way, above and beyond for your husband? We are always looking for our man to go above and beyond for us, but in self evaluation what are we doing?

The first sentence in this chapter says “Don’t put your marriage on auto-pilot.” We hear it, we teach but are we doing it? I know some PW friends that go out on a date night weekly, but even at that, has that become a routine? It makes for a good tweet, a good Facebook post, but does it still have it’s intended impact? I invite you think out of the box, work your creativity, get over our fear of rejection, negative comments and just dive in the deep end of the pool and blow his mind. Even if you haven’t, step out and do it. Only you know how to reach your man and do it well, so Day 1’s assignment; blow his mind!

I've purposed in my heart to do this right along side of you. So let the FUN begin!

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happy new year 2012

Dear Friends,

2012 is upon us and 2011 is behind us! We want to take the time to wish you a big Happy New Year & speak blessings into your life! May 2012 be your BEST year yet!

We are looking forward to doing life together as we live out God's purpose and plans for our life.

His BEST is yet to come!

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Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas sweet friends!!

We pray that your holidays will be filled with joy, peace and lots of laughter as you enjoy time with your families, church families and close friends.

2012 is going to be a phenomenal year!

Lots of good stuff in store for CLUTCH!

We love you bunches,
Veronica and Sarah

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happy thanksgiving

CLUTCHtalk Leading Ladies we pray that you have a blessed Thanksgiving this year.

With 2012 around the corner, know that God has great things in store and your best is yet to come.

From our families to yours, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

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mother in law. monster in law. mother in love.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and many of us will be spending time with our Mother in law or Monster in law or to some Mother in love. Thanksgiving is not a time for tension, tantrums and pandemonium. But truth be told, it happens all across the globe. Yes, in ministry families too. (gasp)

What type of mother in law do you have? Okay, just kidding, don't answer that on the internet. (laugh)

I have no idea where the differences start but at some point for the Daughter in law and Mother in law that don't hit it off it's important to remember two things to carry you through the holidays and time spent together; respect and limits.

I fall into the category of not hitting it off with my mother in law. (yes we are both Christians and love God) We have actually grown on each other over the last 15 years (13 years marriage, 2 years dating/engaged to her son) I would have to say we have each learned respect and limits.

Over the years our relationship has gotten much better truth be told. The story between her and I is rather lengthy and I would have to carefully craft my verbiage in my disclosure to prevent anyone from getting hurt, so I will save that for another post. Not to mention, it would probably be one sided. But just know that she's not a monster in law for the record and incase she ends up reading this. As a matter of fact, our relationship has so improved which probably has God factors included; I wish they lived closer so the boys could spend more time with them.

However, for the friends out there that will be under the same roof with a mother in law, sister in law, brother in law, or maybe a blood relative of your own remember these two words: respect and limits.

Examples of respect and limits look different for everyone as each of our family dynamics are different along with our personalities. What may be bold for one person is just regular for another. So with in your own life parameters, set up limits and plan respect so you can have a wonderful, joyous time. And remember the old school song "This joy, that I have the world did give it to me....This joy that I have the world didn't give it to me....This joy that I have the world didn't give it to me, the world didn't give it and the world can't take it away."

Guard your heart. Guard your peace. Plan with purpose.

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thanksgiving traditions

I Thessalonians 5:18

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

With the holidays around the corner, I thought it would be fun to share some family traditions that you do in your home, during the holidays.

One of the Thanksgiving traditions that we adopted from my husband’s family is on the day of Thanksgiving, we go around the table and say what you are thankful for. That may seem simple to some, but the first time I had Thanksgiving with their family I thought it was the most amazing thing.

This actually turns into a real emotional time some years, contingent on how the year has gone. It’s a beautiful thing because the bible teaches us to be thankful in ALL things. Everyone participates with a sincere heart and it great to see what the Lord has done in someone’s life over the year.

What is one family tradition you and your family do?

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the holiday challenge

Holidays.

Everybody has a favorite. But when you're the pastor's family, holiday choices convictions sometimes become a bigger deal than they would be for other people. If you don't celebrate a certain holiday (say, Halloween?) church members may feel that you're judging them if they do. Or if you celebrate a holiday (say, Passover?) then others may feel that you think less of them if they don't.

In our home (the Asaftei's), we keep our holidays simple. We feel that Jesus is best glorified when our celebratory experiences are focused on him. That means we pretty much skip all the stuff that's driven by materialism, consumerism, celebrities and/or a ton of unhealthy junk that's going to make us sick next week anyway.

When people ask questions, we try to give sweet, simple answers that don't demean or condemn but still clearly explain the reason why we made our choice.

How about you? How do you deal with the challenge of holidays?
What are your convictions? Have you taken flak for them?

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death, darkness, demons and... Christian pastor's families?

It's Halloween.

Here at CLUTCH, we're not celebrating.

We don't think we're better than anybody else. And we don't want to pick a fight. But we do feel called to take a stand.

We feel that, as wives and families of God's local leaders, it is our calling to bring light and hope and the gospel wherever we go. We believe we have no business participating in a day set aside to honor death and darkness.

We believe that when God said "Do not let your people... engage in witchcraft," (Deut 18:9-11, NLT) that He didn't mean just skipping the hard core stuff. And when the Apostle Paul lumped sorcery along with sexual immorality, hostility and dissension as "sins" that "will not inherit the Kingdom of God" - he was actually serious. (Gal 5:20, NLT)

When people in the early Christian church became believers in God, those "who had been practicing sorcery brought their incantation books and burned them at a public bonfire." Even though the books were worth the equivalent of several million dollars. (Acts 19:19, NLT)

So we personally don't feel that it's okay to joke around with the devil. Or play games of pretend that mimic demonic activities. Or even go around for candy on a day that our culture has handed over to the celebration of darkness.

Sure, we know that not everyone who participates in Halloween is acting from some deep dark motive. Sure, it could be fun to stock up on candy (unless, of course, you're trying really hard to keep sugar out of the house!). And kids can definitely be cute in sweet little costumes.

But it's no joke to goof off with satanic influences. So our families will just do cute costumes some other day of the year.

Tomorrow, Veronica will share how she explains their family's stand on Halloween to her kids in simple, clear ways that they can understand.

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remembering Jesus' sacrifice...

CLUTCH Friends:

We have been praying for you all week as you prepare to serve this Resurrection Sunday. We are believing that people will be drawn like metal to a magnet into churches around the nation and across the globe to hear the gospel. We are covering you and your family in prayer! Have a fantastic Sunday as you celebrate and lift up the King!

Much love,

CLUTCH Team

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on a day for romance...

A few weeks ago, I was going through the room in our house that used to be my "office". Now it's going to be the nursery - once baby #2 arrives this spring.

As I sorted boxes that had been stuffed in the closet, and sifted papers that had stacked up -- I came across a shoebox of love letters.

I'm a lucky girl. My PH writes. He writes cards, emails, letters. Occasionally even notes (although not as often). I have a card from him, with way more than a signature inside, for nearly every holiday and event over the past 10 years.

He even writes romantic messages on the little cards they stick into bouquets. I have this miniature Hallmark envelope where I've kept every card from every significant bouquet.

There's one from every anniversary. One or two from "apology flowers" after we'd had a fight. One is in Italian, from the gorgeous yellow and pink roses he managed to get delivered to my classroom in Florence, Italy, during the summer I spent studying abroad in our 2nd year of marriage. (He was stuck in summer classes at seminary and couldn't come.) That made an impression on my classmates!

I used to keep the tiny envelope of them in my bible, where I could pull them out and remind myself how blessed I am to be loved by a godly man. Then my son got old enough to paw through my stuff, and I had to find a safer place!

As I organized, I almost threw away a card with Russian words across the top. My Russian isn't as great as it used to be, but I still can read that it says "Happy Birthday". I grabbed it back from the trash pile, to double check who it was from.

...my studly pastor-husband...

Inside, a piece of paper was glued in, with typed English words. And then I remembered...

In 2008, my job took me to Moscow and Nizhny Novgorod to lecture about reaching young postmodern adults at an evangelism training session for pastors from across Russia. It was the first time in our marriage that we hadn't spent my birthday together. Somehow he managed to find a way to order a huge hand-delivered bouquet of roses and a chocolate cake to the place I was staying! To this day he refuses to divulge his secret strategy on pulling that off. :)

Definitely not throwing THAT birthday card away!

Now, I know that not every man might show his feelings in the same ways that mine does. Not every husband is a great romantic writer. Not every husband remembers to buy flowers, or goes to great lengths to deliver a chocolate birthday cake on the opposite side of the world.

But there are reasons you love him, just the same. There are things he does that make you melt now and then. There are aspects about him that you admire, and appreciate, and trust.

Yes, Valentine's Day may be a contrived holiday that mostly benefits big business, but it's still a good reminder to let him know all those things that you love about him. Tell him why you adore him. Affirm his calling. Let him know how proud you are to be his wife, his lifetime companion. Puff him up a bit with all your compliments. It'll do his heart good.

And if for some reason this isn't a happy time in your marriage, if you're having a hard time remembering just why it was that you fell in love with him in the first place, then maybe it's a good time to get help. To start fresh. To commit to rebuilding what once was.

Whatever the state of your romance, today is an opportunity to make things beautiful again.

Happy Valentines!




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on holiday break

CLUTCH is taking a little break for the holidays, so we can spend quality time with our families and friends.

We'll be back in the new year!

In the meantime, we wish you the season's richest blessings,

the CLUTCH chicks

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a psalm for Thanksgiving

Hallelujah! I give thanks to God with everything I've got—
Wherever good people gather, and in the congregation.
God's works are so great, worth
A lifetime of study—endless enjoyment! 

Splendor and beauty mark his craft; 

His generosity never gives out. 

His miracles are his memorial— 

This God of Grace, this God of Love. 

He gave food to those who fear him, 

He remembered to keep his ancient promise. 

He proved to his people that he could do what he said: 

Hand them the nations on a platter—a gift! 

He manufactures truth and justice; 

All his products are guaranteed to last— 

Never out-of-date, never obsolete, rust-proof. 

All that he makes and does is honest and true: 

He paid the ransom for his people, 

He ordered his Covenant kept forever. 

He's so personal and holy, worthy of our respect. 

The good life begins in the fear of God— 

Do that and you'll know the blessing of God.

His Hallelujah lasts forever!

Psalm 111
The Message

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motherhood and all that...

I'm baaaaaaack...!

After a (seemingly endless) hiatus from blogging here on CLUTCH, I'm back on the wagon, girls. Tristan is almost 3 months old now, and I feel like I'm getting my breath back. It's been a whirlwind though. About 4 weeks after he was born, we received a call to pastor a new district on the opposite side of the Atlanta area. So I spent weeks 5-9 of "recovery" packing house, hunting for a new home, and moving in.

Just in case any of you are considering it, I don't particularly recommend moving your household with a 7 week old baby... But you know how it goes - when God calls, we pastoral families jump and run!

I've definitely missed you all! So I'm giving Delina a break to work on some upcoming surprises for CLUTCH, and looking forward to reconnecting with all of you.

And because I'm a proud mommy, here's the little goober (at 6 weeks old) that's kept me busy since I dropped off the blogosphere.

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a new and improved PW

Happy New Year Ladies,

The decade has closed. A new one is only hours old. You've probably been thinking about new year's resolutions and goals for your family, spirituality, finances, health....but have you thought about how you'd like to improve in your role as pastor's wife? What old thoughts and attitudes are worth leaving in 2009? What new and exciting Kingdom-building things are on the horizon for you?

Whether you believe it or not, God made you to partner with your husband in ministry. He made you and has equipped you for this moment. How will you walk in that truth in 2010?

C'mon, tell me. I wanna know. Do your resolutions/goals/plans (whatever you want to call them) include improvements in your PW role? How?

I'll put my PW-related resolution in the comments.

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Merry Christmas!

And now we pause to enjoy the holidays with our families and remember the Reason we're in this thing. We're catching a clue from Mary, up there,
and we're off to enjoy our babies' first Christmas.
Go, get off the computer, enjoy your families, your PH, your churches, the season and Him.

We'll see you in January 2010.

We wish you a Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year!

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guest blog: halloween and the PK

Halloween. Say that word in church and ears perk up; it’s rather funny. While we might not all agree on each ones perspectives; we can agree that it’s a controversial topic in the church world.

With the accessibility of modern research, I will leave the opportunity to Google and search for the history, origins, post-modern and modern fact, myths, info etc… to you and your free time for article length sake.

I will share with you what we do and why and you share with us what you do and why! How about that!

In the Brown Household, we have chosen to NOT celebrate Halloween in the traditional manner of “dress up” and “trick or treating." We have done one of the following things over the last three years:

· Hallelujah Night – equivalent to a fall festival
· Handing out candy (inside plastic 3”x4” jewelry bags) with shipping sized labels inviting people to our church. (label says: You're Invited & give church name, website, slogan)
· Decorating for Christmas (yes this is true) (haha)

Truth be told, my children are young; 3 & 5. They truthfully dress up EVERYDAY. As dramatic play is a big deal for them right now, on any given day, you can find Spiderman, The Hulk, A Police Officer or Fireman in my home. To them Halloween is just another day. They are actually into Buzzlight Year and Woody this year; so I’m sure those costumes will be purchased soon. They have no idea the purpose and history behind Halloween and why all these cool costumes are now only seasonally available. With our ministerial experience in dealing with witchcraft and demonic STUFF…., we opt to not celebrate in the traditional manner.

As for our church members, ministry friends, pastor friends, etc…. the Bible teaches us to work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. There are essentials and non-essentials in our variation in beliefs, interpretation of Scripture, what we teach and live as an example to our flocks. As for raised eyebrows from church members, “raise on” because if I let them dress up and trick or treat, there will be talk. If I do not, there will be talk. I have grown to the point that their approval or disapproval means nothing to me. If my ways please the Lord, I am at peace with that – as that is my ultimate goal. To please my Father, be accountable to HIM for my children’s upbringing, instilment of values etc..

What do you do? How do you explain it to your kiddos?

Veronica Brown is the co-pastor, along with her husband, of Breath of Life Worship Center in Austin, TX. Her blog is a window into their lives -- pastoring, church planting, parenting, life in the motherhood, being married to the pastor/preacher and life in ministry.

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clergy appreciation month

Did you know that October is Clergy Appreciation Month? Does your church know? Just in case they do, we're reserving these comments for you to share how your congregation honored your PH (and hopefully you as well). Tell us!

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the biggest giveaway yet!

NOTE: This was our April Fool's Day post. Please read here for the whole story.

Okay girls, you know we love doing giveaways when we can, and we've just worked out the COOLEST giveaway of 4 Coach clutches PER PERSON.

Here's the deal - it's a little complicated, so pay attention. Every PW who comments on a post at least once a week for the entire month of April, will receive 1 Clutch per week. To say it another way, if you comment at least once a week for all 4 weeks, you will receive 4 COACH clutches (max).

One more rule, you must think of a way to use these purses in ministry at your church. Throughout the month we will share these creative ideas with the rest of the readers. So, with your entry, you must provide a brief explanation of how these purses will be used for ministry purposes.

We expect lots of interest in this giveaway, so in order to keep track, we ask that you email us your registration instead of commenting on this post (it's the only way we'll be able to keep track and have the info in our database). Only those who register today will be able to participate in the month-long giveaway. To enter, you need to just email us at clutchtalk@gmail.com with your:

- name
- church name & city
- husband's pastoral role
- best idea for using 4 COACH clutches for creative ministry in your church

No comments below please - only emails will be counted as entries. We will then contact you directly to get your shipping address.

This should be fun and I trust all of you will enjoy your clutches!

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giveaway photos and winner!

Friends!
Because we only received 10 entries...but 10 fun entries (and thank you to those who took the time to enter) it seemed a little silly to do a slide show set to music (rotating the same photos over and over until the song ran out).

Instead, here's a look at the photos of a few Clutch couples. Sing a little love tune in your head as you browse the photos. ;-) Happy Valentine's Day to all of you! Squeeze your man a little tighter today.

Valerie & Daniel

Shari & Trevan

Shane & Marc

Hilary & Mike

Julie & Jeff

Starr & Jonathan

Sheila & Jeremy

Jessica & Dennis (and fam)

Deidre & Otis

Charity & her PH

And the winner is:

Julie Aenk (the 6th person to submit a photo)

Please email your mailing address to clutchtalk@gmail.com and we'll zip the book right to ya. Congratulations!

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