Showing posts with label sarah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sarah. Show all posts

girls, i'm baaaaack!

>> June 17, 2011

It's been a while.

Veronica has done a fabulous job of keeping things rolling while I've been laid up on post-maternity bedrest, and then chasing a toddler while getting to know our newborn little girl.

Right now she's asleep on my chest as I'm typing. I really ought to wake her up and give her a bath, but she's so sweet all curled up there... So I'm hanging out here on CLUTCH for a few minutes instead. :) I've missed you guys!

I'm hoping to gradually get back on track here, now that little Sophíe is 8 weeks old (yesterday!), and has started sleeping through the night. You don't know how tired a human can be until you've got a newborn and a toddler! (Well, unless you throw in a sick husband... that makes it even more fun.)

This evening I've gone back and read through many of your comments, questions, and the guest posts. You guys are all amazing, that's all I've got to say. And I wish even more readers would leave comments on posts so that we can have more conversation and support between each other. Comments also help us discover what you need us to write about so that we can meet your needs better.

In other words, comments are good for everybody! *hint, hint*

So, what would you like us to write about? Any thoughts, suggestions, wishes? Don't be shy!

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when the going gets tough...

>> May 13, 2011

This article was originally published in 2010 and is re-posted by permission on CLUTCH, in honor of Sarah's 8th wedding anniversary. In between the demands of an active toddler and a brand-new baby, today reminds her of all the reasons why God let her marry a pastor. (Something she swore she would never, ever do.)


They say that married couples in Western society have a 50% chance of sticking together. If you ask me, that’s pretty bleak.

Eight years ago, my husband and I celebrated our vows in an outdoor garden, just two days after graduating from college. Like most couples in love, we had starry-eyed fantasies about how great married life was going to be.

We each had found “the One." We were committed for life. We were going to spend our days being supportive of each other’s dreams, in the evenings we would cook beautiful meals together, and when we traveled we’d read books aloud in the car.

We were going to stay fit and exercise every day. I wanted to still fit my wedding dress on our 10th anniversary. And our 15th and 20th. We would never smell bad, or forget to shower, or “let ourselves go” like other couples we’d seen.

And then life happened.

Three months after the wedding, my mother-in-law came for a “short visit” that ended up lasting most of the next year and a half. My sister needed a place to live after graduating from high school, so we invited her to move in.

We finished graduate school and my husband accepted his first full-time pastorate. His mother moved with us to the new place. Then his younger sisters needed a home for the summer. In the fall, my parents faced a health crisis and ended up living with us for a year.

For the first five years of our marriage, our only “alone” time came in five or six week breaks between one family member moving out and another moving in. One pastoral salary didn’t stretch very far, and I wasn’t always able to find paying work.

In every marriage, I believe each partner comes to a crucial questioning point. There is that defining moment when fantasy collides with reality, and you ask yourself if you made the right choice. That morning when you roll over in bed and look at the person sleeping beside you, and you wonder:

“Did I choose the right woman?”
“Did I fall in love with the right man?”
“Is life with this person my true destiny?”

Anyone who’s been married a while knows that the honeymoon doesn’t last forever. It isn’t long before you’re juggling bills, sharing the bathroom, and putting up with each other’s public and private quirks. The leisurely evenings of fantasy-land quickly become filled with chores and errands and last-minute work projects. And sometimes it’s harder than you think to stay small enough to fit your wedding dress!

Sometimes it seems like older people forget to tell the young ones a few important things in life. Like the fact that no matter how much you love somebody, tough times are guaranteed to show up sooner or later.

And if you’re going to last, you need to have more than sex appeal to fall back on.

Fortunately, a few wise people let us in on the secret before we made it to the altar. And while we were dating, we asked God to show us specifically whether we were meant to be together. I’m not here to get into the semantics of whether there is only one person on the planet for everyone, or whether you could be equally happy with different people. I’m just sharing what worked for us.

We’d both had a string of heartbreaks. We were sick of the dating roller-coaster. We each wanted a meaningful relationship that wasn’t going to destructively self-implode. So when we had the chance, we asked God to make it clear whether we fit together.

God answered, more than once, and fifteen months later we were married.

Since then, there have been plenty of good times. We’ve ministered side by side, enjoyed adventures in the mission field, and taken romantic trips to places like Florence, Italy and Malibu, California. We’ve become each other’s best friend and closest confidante. He is my very favorite person and whether I’m overwhelmed with busyness or doing nothing at all - he is the one person I always want to share it with.

We’ve had plenty of tough times, too. We’ve experienced enough shared obstacles to make anyone wonder if they married the right person. But we keep choosing to see marriage as a partnership for sharing our troubles, rather than as a contract toward self-gratification.

Like any old married couple will tell you, initial fantasies don’t last long. I’ve had to pause half a dozen times while writing this article to meet the needs of our [then] three month-old son (he's 18-months old now, and we have a 3-week-old daughter who's doing the spitting up these days) -- including once to mop up a puddle of curdled spit-up that landed on my shoulder and glopped down the couch cushion behind me. I think I’m still wearing most of it. So much for always smelling great and not “letting myself go”.

Tonight my husband is at one of our two churches leading board meeting, even though it's our anniversary. So much for leisurely fireside evenings spent playfully cooking together.

Yes, we’ve experienced those moments when we look at each other and wonder how we got here. But all we have to do to answer the question is go back over the story of how God led us at every junction. 

Fantasy doesn’t have much control over us these days, between pastoring two churches and raising our toddler son and newborn daughter. There’s rarely enough money for everything we think we need, and we’ve both had to reassess a few of our dreams.

But when the going gets tough, we find ourselves recounting how our life together began. It keeps us reminded that we didn’t get ourselves into this on a whim. We are partners, no matter how challenging the situations we face. And we’re not doing this marriage alone.

That, I believe, makes all the difference.
______________________________
Originally published by AnswersForMe.org © 2010. Adapted for CLUTCH, May 2011.

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© CLUTCH, 2009-2011 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
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News on Sarah and Baby

>> April 18, 2011

CLUTCH Family: Time for another Sarah update. As of Friday she was discharged from the hospital. That is great news! She is however on strict bedrest. Continue to keep her in your prayers as you come before the Lord this week. It is possible they will be moving forward with delivery this week; I will keep you posted. WE LOVE YOU SARAH!!!! Stay in bed! It's times like this we all wished we lived a little closer to help with meals, cleaning, laundry and whatever else you might need. Ladies I will keep you posted, Veronica Share


© CLUTCH, 2009-2011 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only. Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

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News on Sarah & Baby.......

>> April 14, 2011

CLUTCH family, I wanted to update you on Sarah. As many of you know Sarah is expecting!! Yay for the Asaftei family! I have some not so great news. A few days ago, she was out shopping and suddenly blacked out. She was immediately taken to the ER and was in need of a blood transfusion. Sarah is still carrying (Praise the Lord) however; some delivery decisions need to be made soon. She was released from the hospital but then was readmitted and is currently there for continual observation and treatments. After the baby is delivered there are additional procedures that Sarah will need to have done. We are believing God for a healthy mama & a healthy baby in Jesus name! Would you join us as we pray for Sarah and baby Asaftei? Sarah is giving updates here and there on her FB status; she has limited internet access. A big thank you to Rachael Scott who is copying them over to the CLUTCH FB page, where you can keep posted on the latest. Thank you & love you much! Veronica Share


© CLUTCH, 2009-2011 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only. Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

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quiet time in a crazy world

>> December 13, 2010

this article was originally published in 
the 4th Quarter 2010 issue of The Journal,
an international magazine for pastor's wives

adapted and reposted here by special permission
by Sarah K Asaftei
Quiet time is tough to find. At least it is where I live.

I suppose in some cultures, pastorsʼ wives may manage to live at a slower pace, but the increase of technology makes life run faster nearly everywhere. Just to write this article, Iʼm snatching a few peaceful moments at 6 AM, before our household explodes into the dayʼs activities.

“Come away, and rest awhile,” Jesus told his disciples, when they were so busy ministering that they hadnʼt even taken a moment to eat. (Mark 6:31) But if youʼre like me, that can be a tough invitation to accept.

The thing is, if we want to minister effectively, if we want to make a lasting impact, if we want to be agents of revival among our congregations and communities - quiet time is something we cannot do without.

Revival at church can only come after personal revival at home.

Itʼs an inescapable fact. We simply cannot minister to others when we are empty ourselves. Even Jesus needed time away with his Father to rejuvenate and refill. But how do we actually make it happen? Where do we find the time?

Sometimes I look at older women, or at younger women, and I envy the extra free time they seem to have. Probably - to them - their lives feel just as busy as mine, filled with different activities. But itʼs easy to imagine that other people have more time to rest, or pray, or study.

As younger PWs, we tend to fall into a narrow set of categories: fiancee, newlywed, young mother. Iʼll admit, there are times when I daydream about the flexibility and freedom I once had to spend time alone with God during my 6 years of being a “newlywed”. Back when my dayʼs schedule was dictated by what I chose to do, instead of by feedings and diaper changes and nap times.

The silly thing is, I didnʼt think I had enough free time then, either. I thought I was so incredibly busy, and taking quiet time to be with God had to be just as intentional as it does today.

And thatʼs my point. It doesnʼt matter how old or young you are. It doesnʼt matter if you work or stay home. It doesnʼt matter if your house is full of children, or if you havenʼt had kids yet, or if they have all grown up and moved away.

Getting daily spiritual revival time has to be a conscious choice. It is never going to magically happen. And the less time you spend communing with God, the more empty and dried up youʼll eventually feel
toward others.

CLUTCH recently published a series of interviews asking several pastorʼs wives about their individual devotional habits. I asked each woman to share what they do during their devotions, how they make it actually happen, and what time of day they choose. (You can catch up on that series here.)

An interesting trend emerged. The women who reported having successful, regular daily devotions, all said that they wake up extra early to make it happen.

The ones who donʼt get up early, donʼt make it happen.

Now Iʼm sure that doesnʼt mean there isnʼt some woman out there who has quality, meaningful time with God every single day in the middle of the afternoon. But our best chance of spiritual rejuvenation comes early, before the dayʼs madness begins.

Right now, Iʼm in a season of life where even the early mornings are difficult. Some of you probably are right here with me. Between my 1 year old son and the new baby arriving shortly, it is not necessarily quieter before dawn! And it probably wonʼt calm down much for another year or two.

So what about us? What about the ones who do want to dedicate daily time with God, but being good mothers to our little ones makes quiet time all but impossible?

If your day is so full of babies that you hardly have time to shower (believe me, Iʼve been there!), try an unconventional approach to devotions. Play uplifting music and sing along while doing dishes, pray out loud while folding laundry, or turn on a recording of the Bible being read aloud while you nurse the baby. Talk to spiritual women whose children are a little older than yours, and ask them how they did it. There are all kinds of ways to commune with God.

Life brings all kinds of seasons. Some seasons bring flexibility, others bring exhaustion. Some seasons bring deep spiritual communion, others feel like a drought. Sometimes we are rejuvenated best through hours of deep study, other times God speaks to us through song, or uplifting relationships or supportive prayer partners.

Whatever your stage in life, whatever your season - the important thing to remember is that God longs to bring you spiritual revival each day. He hopes that youʼll think He is important enough to make it a priority in your day - even if you can only snatch a few minutes here or there.

If your season right now is flexible, why not choose to spend more time with God than you usually do? Maybe cut back on media consumption and other less valuable activities, and just soak up this part of your spiritual journey!

And if, like me, your current season is full of exhausted weariness, remember (like I'm trying to do!) that seasons come and go. This phase of life wonʼt last forever, and when it changes youʼll have a different schedule, with different amounts of time to spend talking to God.

Whatever your season, God wants to spend time with you today. What do you want to do with Him?

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© CLUTCH, 2009-2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

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motherhood and all that...

>> January 12, 2010

I'm baaaaaaack...!

After a (seemingly endless) hiatus from blogging here on CLUTCH, I'm back on the wagon, girls. Tristan is almost 3 months old now, and I feel like I'm getting my breath back. It's been a whirlwind though. About 4 weeks after he was born, we received a call to pastor a new district on the opposite side of the Atlanta area. So I spent weeks 5-9 of "recovery" packing house, hunting for a new home, and moving in.

Just in case any of you are considering it, I don't particularly recommend moving your household with a 7 week old baby... But you know how it goes - when God calls, we pastoral families jump and run!

I've definitely missed you all! So I'm giving Delina a break to work on some upcoming surprises for CLUTCH, and looking forward to reconnecting with all of you.

And because I'm a proud mommy, here's the little goober (at 6 weeks old) that's kept me busy since I dropped off the blogosphere.


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a legitimate reason...

>> October 30, 2009

... for Sarah to be offline for a little while.

Tristan Alexander Vasile Matthews-Asaftei
arrived on
Monday, October 26, 2009
at 10:49 AM

7 lbs, 12 oz
19 inches long

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it's a celebration!

>> October 7, 2009


Sarah has no idea I'm posting this. Swipped her pregnant photo right off her Facebook...
But I thought it would be fun to host a virtual mother blessing for my co-blogger and soon-to-be first-time mommy, Sarah. Tristan Alexander will be born in the next few weeks or days.

Will you join in the virtual celebration?

Let's shower Sarah with lots of encouragement for labor, newborn nights and motherhood in general. Leave a note, prayer or word of advice on raising a fabulous PK.

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holiday gratefulness

>> November 30, 2008

This year was an unusual Thanksgiving month for us. My job took me to the UK and then Russia for the first two weeks of the month, then a week at Andrews University.

Then, for Thanksgiving week my pastor husband had to travel to Brasil for 10 days to prepare for next year's mission trip. Our church is planning to build two churches in the Amazon interior. I'm thankful for his passion for taking people on mission trips - it changes lives - but the idea of being at home alone on Thanksgiving was pretty bleak.

So I spent the holidays in Chicago with cousins. We made a massive batch of yummy chocolate cherry cookies, gluten steaks, chik'n artichoke bake, potato leek soup and pumpkin pie.

There was a very cool barn door with an old sign on it. Just begged to be photographed. And it felt very spiritual, too - the light bursting through the window and the One Way arrow...

Another thing I'm thankful for this year is female friends. Loneliness is something I've struggled with for years, and knowing that it's usually unwise to get close to (even the nicest) church members doesn't make it easier.

My husband challenged me a couple of years ago to purposefully focus my energy on building some strong female friendships. I prayed for quite a while about whom to even begin getting to know! Since then, God has put a variety of amazing women in my path and I feel incredibly blessed.

This year I got the unusual and precious opportunity to spend several days with some of those girlfriends (some of whom were fellow PW's), and for that I am grateful.
R>L: me, my cousin, a friend, a fellow pastor's wife, and another friend - out in the snow

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music video parable

>> November 19, 2008

In addition to being a pastor's wife, I also work with a film team based in the United Kingdom, called tedMEDIA productions.

We work to create cutting edge resources for Christian outreach and inreach, particularly reaching the secular and postmodern audiences of today's emergent generation.

Just today, we've released a new music video about the parable of the Prodigal Son. It is a modern retelling of the biblical story, in an urban style. If urban music isn't your thing, that's okay too. We are producing classical, acoustic, folk, gospel, and hymns as well. :)



But if you like it, please go leave a comment! For now, it is only available on YouTube for viewing and embedding. We hope to provide for purchase and download at a later time.

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