a question for you...

Last week, I got a phone call from a friend of mine who leads an international ministry for Pastor's Wives. She regularly travels all over the world talking to PWs and their PHs, finding out their needs, listening to their concerns, and praying with them.

In a ministry like this, she keeps realizing the incredible need to provide some kind of resource to new PWs. A kind of "how-to" manual to get them oriented into life as a PW. Not every woman gets married knowing she's going to be a PW. Some pastors enter ministry later in life, others marry girls who are brand new Christians and are still learning about the gospel. But even those who grew up in ministry-oriented families can get overwhelmed when they put on their PW shoes!

So she asked me if I would be interested in helping her develop some resources to help young PWs get off on the right foot. I said "Absolutely!"

And now I'm coming to all of YOU for input. Dontcha love me? Here goes:

What do you wish that someone had told you about how to be a PW when you got started? 
Or, if you're new to this gig, what do you wish someone would tell you right now?

Leave me a comment below, or if you don't want to share with the world, send me a private message at clutchtalk (@) gmail (.) com. And please leave your name on your comment, for research' sake... if ya don't mind?

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PMS: the trapped pastor's wife

Kellee is a fellow pastor's wife that you know casually from Seminary. You run into each other at the mall and she takes you aside and unloads on you. Her husband has cheated on her with a church member. He's unrepentant. Says he's stopped. Wants her to get over it and quit being so angry. He's agreed to go to counseling, but has no time right now. She doesn't know what to do. Doesn't want to leave him. Isn't confident she can make it on her own with her 4 small children. She doesn't want to out him to the church. It will leave her relationship in shambles and the family with no income.

How can you help?

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PMS: the flirty pastor's wife

You and Beverly have been friends since high school and low and behold, you're both pastor's wives! You feel blessed that you have someone around that you can relate to and your husbands are even friends! She invites your family over for a casual BBQ at their home and you notice that that Beverly is extremely friendly with another man. A couple of days later, you inquire about who this guy is and she shares that he's a church member who has become a close family friend. She mentions how he's helping her get back in shape and train for a triathlon. The man is a friend of her family and he's been so kind. He's even lent the couple money when they were in a tight spot, helped them find an affordable car and was even so kind as to help her find a job at his law firm. She goes on and on about how he just "gets her." You're worried that your PW friend is treading in dangerous waters.

Do you confront her? What do you say?

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PMS: the jailed pastor's wife

For the past six months, every 2nd Tuesday of the month, you and Marlene (a local PW) have been going to lunch. You're just getting to the point where you are sharing personal stories and really beginning to trust each other. Then one day, as you're having your morning coffee, you hear Marlene's name on the news. You look up, and there's her photo on the screen. She's shot and killed her PH (this is not outlandish, ladies. It happens). Marlene is now in the county jail. Her children are with family. You're her friend.

How will you show Marlene that you're still her friend, despite the trouble she's in? What will you tell her during your first visit to see her in jail? How will you be a support to her family? Will you raise funds for her defense?

Or be honest, really. Will you just disappear from her life and act like you never knew her (except when you tell the juicy story to friends)?

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PMS: the reluctant pastor's wife

This is Erika, a driven and successful career-woman, married to a pastor. She's the embodiment of the reluctant pastor's wife. She loves her husband, but can't stand his job. She's stopped going to church with him because she can't stand all the ridicule from the members. Even the older minister's wives on staff chastise her (like a child) for the way she dresses and the things she's unwilling volunteer for at church. She's fed up.

Erika is your friend. What advice do you give to her? How do you encourage her?


*These scenarios are fictitious. Any resemblance to real-life events is coincidental.

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PMS week: being there for other PWs

PMS is one week late (does that mean we're pregnant!?), but it's here. This week we will ask you for lots of input. Each day (except Thursday when we take a break for our "cool" feature) we'll ask you a question about what you would do to help a fellow PW who finds herself in a tough spot. We're looking forward to sharing in your wisdom.

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