BURNOUT WEEK::looking in the mirror

What if your PH seems to be doing fine, and the person who is truly burned out in your house is YOU?

It's not ridiculous. We PWs tend to work equally as hard as our PHs do, even if it's in different activities. If you have 1 or 2 or 10 kids, then your job is probably crazier than his - because you not only do the full-time job of PW plus whatever career or employment you may have, you're also a mom. (Which, as any mom already knows, is more like five full-time jobs at any given minute.)

Ministry burns pastors out. Even the secular world has sat up and taken notice.

But PWs get burned out too. And we aren't the subject of nearly as many studies or focus groups or counseling seminars.

Which means we need to support each other. And we need to pray about the best solution for our own circumstances. And maybe not be too proud to ask for some help from a church member or neighbor now and then.

Here are some ideas for you as a PW, to help stave off burnout:

• ask for a day off each quarter too, where you focus on spiritual rejuvenation. Get a babysitter if you need to. Put the date on both calendars - yours and his. Plan for it like you would for a concert or a church function. 
• keep a lifeline to the outside world. Find at least one trustworthy friend who is a good listener and has some spiritual wisdom. Nurture that relationship however you can.
• say "Not this time, but thanks!" to that 15th church job. Get over the guilt - when you let someone else do it you are giving them an opportunity to experience the joy of serving. Or if nobody steps up for a while, you're letting them realize how much someone needs to take over. It's okay if that someone isn't always you. 
• skip the late night TV, even if it's your favorite way to unwind. Try going for a cup of tea and a book instead - you'll sleep better without the stimulation of TV, and probably get to bed earlier instead of staying up to watch the next show.
• put exercise on your calendar, at least 5 days a week. Whether you walk with other moms on your street, join a gym for social fellowship, or train for an Iron Man Triathlon... the point is to get positive endorphins flowing, increase your energy, sleep better at night, and feel happier all day (once the soreness wears off, of course!)
• sing. Hum. Whistle. Belt it out. Whatever your style, singing uplifting hymns or psalms or praise songs can help to make your heart happy and stave off discouragement and loneliness. 
• get counseling if it doesn't get better. Find a godly mentor who can help you walk through the steps of feeling less discouraged. 
• most importantly::try to make time for daily prayer and bible reading. If you have little ones, this can be super tough. I struggle with it constantly. We finally settled on two things that help me get a little daily God-time: I do bedtime and Daddy does morning-time so I can have a few extra minutes to pray, and I've started reading aloud from a devotional book when I put the baby down for naps. It's helped!

And be sure to share what you're going through with your PH. Don't expect him to understand how you feel if you're keeping him in the dark. Good communication can only strengthen your marriage and will help him be aware of what's going on at home. 

A FEW LINKS & RESOURCES ABOUT PASTORAL BURNOUT:

• No Rest for the Holy: Clergy Burnout a Growing Concern, David Gibson, Politics Daily
• Soul Care the the Roots of Clergy Burnout, Anne Dilenschneider, The Huffington Post
• Taking a Break from the Lord's Work, Paul Vitello, The New York Times
• Study finds Canadian clergy burned out, isolated, The Presbyterian Outlook
  
• National Clergy Renewal Program
• Clergy Health Initiative, Duke Divinity School

© CLUTCH, 2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

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BURNOUT WEEK::the health factor

Burnout isn't just emotional. It's also mental and relational.

Burned-out pastors get more easily discouraged.
Discouraged pastors make poor spiritual and personal choices from lack of discernment.
Lack of discernment leads to hurt relationships, unbiblical teaching or even scandal.
Hurt relationships and conflict lead to overwhelming guilt.
Guilt leads to doubting one's call to ministry.
Doubt leads to...

You get the general idea.

And burnout is physical, too:

Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. 

Public health experts who have led the studies caution that there is no simple explanation of why so many members of a profession once associated with rosy-cheeked longevity have become so unhealthy and unhappy.

But while research continues, a growing number of health care experts and religious leaders have settled on one simple remedy that has long been a touchy subject with many clerics: taking more time off.
(Taking a Break from the Lord's Work, Paul Vitello, NY Times)

If leadership is best executed by modeling an example, then many of us have got some work to do.

We can't tell our church members that God wants them to be healthy in their lifestyle choices if we don't bother to rest, exercise or make smart eating choices. Unless of course, you don't mind being called a hypocrite.

We have to remember that staying healthy so we can serve God to the fullest is more than just making one kind of health decision. It's about living a whole life in balance. Which, as pastoral families, ain't an easy assignment.

Even in the best of times, however, many factors can contribute to clergy health problems.

Clergy routinely work 60-hour weeks, and often have just one day off -- and not the day everyone else is off. Also, every function that a priest or rabbi or imam attends is likely to have food -- and not necessarily healthy fare -- that he or she is expected to share.

"Doughnuts will be the death of me," several Methodist pastors told researchers with the Duke Clergy Health Initiative, a seven-year project with Duke Divinity School that is looking at the health of United Methodist pastors in North Carolina.
(No Rest for the Holy, David Gibson, Politics Daily)

It's not impossible to choose a lifestyle that help prevent obesity, heart disease and depression. A good place to start is with adequate rest and regular exercise.

Eating smarter helps too. Check out our own Jenah's column on HOW TO::eat healther in the PW home for tips on better food choices.

When you live long enough to keep on meeting their needs, your church will thank you. (Hopefully!)

A FEW LINKS & RESOURCES ABOUT PASTORAL BURNOUT:

• No Rest for the Holy: Clergy Burnout a Growing Concern, David Gibson, Politics Daily
• Soul Care the the Roots of Clergy Burnout, Anne Dilenschneider, The Huffington Post
• Taking a Break from the Lord's Work, Paul Vitello, The New York Times
• Study finds Canadian clergy burned out, isolated, The Presbyterian Outlook
  
• National Clergy Renewal Program
• Clergy Health Initiative, Duke Divinity School

© CLUTCH, 2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

Read more...