death, darkness, demons and... Christian pastor's families?

It's Halloween.

Here at CLUTCH, we're not celebrating.

We don't think we're better than anybody else. And we don't want to pick a fight. But we do feel called to take a stand.

We feel that, as wives and families of God's local leaders, it is our calling to bring light and hope and the gospel wherever we go. We believe we have no business participating in a day set aside to honor death and darkness.

We believe that when God said "Do not let your people... engage in witchcraft," (Deut 18:9-11, NLT) that He didn't mean just skipping the hard core stuff. And when the Apostle Paul lumped sorcery along with sexual immorality, hostility and dissension as "sins" that "will not inherit the Kingdom of God" - he was actually serious. (Gal 5:20, NLT)

When people in the early Christian church became believers in God, those "who had been practicing sorcery brought their incantation books and burned them at a public bonfire." Even though the books were worth the equivalent of several million dollars. (Acts 19:19, NLT)

So we personally don't feel that it's okay to joke around with the devil. Or play games of pretend that mimic demonic activities. Or even go around for candy on a day that our culture has handed over to the celebration of darkness.

Sure, we know that not everyone who participates in Halloween is acting from some deep dark motive. Sure, it could be fun to stock up on candy (unless, of course, you're trying really hard to keep sugar out of the house!). And kids can definitely be cute in sweet little costumes.

But it's no joke to goof off with satanic influences. So our families will just do cute costumes some other day of the year.

Tomorrow, Veronica will share how she explains their family's stand on Halloween to her kids in simple, clear ways that they can understand.

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pastors' wives and fitness

Fitness. Nutrition. Health. I'm not sure about you, but as for me (Veronica) I want to be fit. I want to be healthy, but sometimes......, okay more often then not, my excuses outweigh the "want to" and the "I will start tomorrow" syndrome kicks in.

So...why wait till the new year to get healthy? What if we at CLUTCHtalk did it NOW? We have to be "Fit 4 God's Mission" you know!

Okay so I can hear you say, I want to, but don't know how. Or, I lack the time. Maybe, you lack the motivation, discipline or accountability. Don't worry, I (Veronica) do too. :) Who hasn't at one time or another? Well ladies, together let's get in gear. We should be fit body/soul/spirit.

I want to introduce you to my PW friend Michelle Myers! I'm blessed that we not only live in the same city, but the same subdivision - how cool is that!

Michelle is the author of A Look that Kills. She has a tremendous testimony and is the queen of fitness!

She has a Bachelor of Arts in Communication Studies with a minor in Psychology from The University of Tennessee. In addition, she earned her Masters of Arts in Christian Education from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Did I mention she is a cutie and has the sweetest spirit!

Michelle describes herself as......

• Christ Follower.
• Pastor's Wife.
• Noah's Mom.
• Author.
• Speaker.
• Business Owner.
• Fitness Instructor & Nutrition Coach  

Today she is sharing a great recipe with us!

You will need:
1 sweet potato, cut into cir­cles
Non­stick cook­ing spray
1 tsp organic coconut oil
3 TBSP. orange juice2 TBSP water2 TBSP organic honey/agave nec­tar
1 clove gar­lic, finely chopped

Instruc­tions:
Place pota­toes in a steamer bas­ket over boil­ing water.
Cover pan and steam 10 min­utes, or until tender.
Brush pota­toes with coconut oil.
Spray grill with non­stick spray.
Place pota­toes, cut sides down on rack.
Com­bine remain­ing ingre­di­ents in a bowl.
Grill pota­toes 5 min­utes on each side, or until ten­der, bast­ing with orange juice mixture.
Eat and enjoy!

Soon you can find Michelle blogging right here on CLUTCH in our new Lifestyle column! Stay tuned for her introduction and details!

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© CLUTCH, 2009-2011 unless otherwise sourced.

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influence

Influence. The capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce efforts on the actions, behaviors, opinions. etc..

Now that Webster has cleared up exactly what influence is, I want to bring it home. As the wife a Pastor your influence is far greater than you think. I'm not talking about you individually, while yes that is a great influence; that is another post in itself. I'm specifically referencing the influence we have with our husbands, their leadership and the future of the church.

I never want it to be said of me that my reply, my response, my expression, my sigh, my deep exhaling breath, my prolonged silence, my lack of enthusiasm, my withdrawal, my....get the picture; impacted a decision in moving the church, our ministry or the body of Christ forward.

I am a firm believer that when our husbands share something with us it can bear witness in our spirits and sometimes there is a huge red flag, that is the prompting of the Spirit. But I am also keenly aware that women across the country are tired, frustrated and worn out. So when Pastor/Hubby starts throwing around the idea of adding another service all you see is increase in volunteer management, what are you going to do with the kids, how are you going to arrange this, that and the other. While he's excited about whatever idea the Lord has laid on his heart and the great impacts it will have on reaching people; your response is your influence.

My prayer is that we guard the words we say. That we are led by the Spirit of God in responding and use our influence how God intended. That doesn't mean our responses are yes, go, green light, run for it. But we sincerely seek God and check our spirits vs. responding out of pure exhaustion, frustration, disappointment, the state of being overwhelmed, whatever the case.

My friend, your BEST days are ahead of you. Your future is bright. There is day on the other side of your night. Breakthrough is on the horizon. God has great plans in store for you, your marriage, your family and for your church!

Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Let's guard our influence.

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building relationships: with other pastors' wives

Two Monday's ago, Pastor Mark and I spent the day with Pastors Joel and Victoria Osteen along with several Champions Network Pastors.

After lunch, Victoria got all the PW's together and her, Marguerite Reeve and Jeannie Munsey poured into us. It was a great few hours of sharing, asking questions, exchanging ideas and developing friendships. The time together was energizing.

We talked about family time, children, being the wife, leading, influence, sex, marriage in the ministry, working on staff, ministering, taking over a church; lots was covered. These seasoned PW's did not hold back.

I think that is what I love best about building relationships; disclosure. It helps me grow.

How do you keep yourself growing? For me, maintaining a posture of learning has been most beneficial. If you belong to a church of 25, 250, 2500 or 25,000 we are all in the same race just running in different lanes.

I hope that you are encouraged to connect here on CLUTCHtalk.org. You have been called to impact, influence and inspire the world around you. We look forward to building a relationship with you!

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you have the power::to make your husband leave the ministry

It’s not as hard as you might think.

A little complaining and whining here. A little lack of confidence in his abilities there. Occasional comments about how you wish he’d picked a career that made more money...

Maybe there are a few exceptions, but most pastors come to a point sometime where they wonder if they should’ve made a different career choice. It’s hard to wonder if you’re providing for your family the best you can, especially if your wife isn’t content. And when you have rough patches in your congregation, it’s a rare man who doesn’t at least ask himself how things might have been easier if he’d traveled a different path.

Back when my husband was a seminary student, we spent an afternoon at the tennis courts with another young pastoral couple. After a few doubles games, the other pastor’s wife and I took a breather on the sidelines. She started telling me how much she hated being a pastor’swife.

"All these people expect me to talk to them at church, when I don't even want to be there! What makes them think I want to listen to their problems?"

I was speechless. And if you knew me, that’d make you chuckle. But I honestly didn't know what to say.

Later that night, I shared the conversation with my husband. He wasn’t surprised. He knew that her husband felt torn between his wife and his ministry. Church members kept asking what they’d done to offend her? Why didn’t she like them? What was wrong?

Her husband isn't a pastor any more. Eventually, her distaste for his calling was a big factor in his decision to switch careers.These days he carries a gun and a badge. I don’t know if she’s any happier than she was before...

That doesn’t mean that I think it’s necessarily wrong to stop being a pastor. Sometimes God calls us to a certain type of ministry for a season rather than a lifetime. Or maybe God has a different avenue of service and he never meant for your husband to be a pastor in the first place. I’m not sitting in judgment of those situations.

But that’s not the same as when your husband is a fabulous pastor, and clearly called into a life of ministry, and you just can’t seem to stop longing for a different life. When the pastor loves both his job and his wife but his wife hates his job - then something has to change. Unless ofcourse, he’s willing to live in misery or lose his marriage (see the first two articles in this series).

Let’s assume that your husband loves you. (At least I certainly hope he does!) So he decides to go ahead and do whatever it takes to make you happy, at the cost of his own dreams and passion. In this case, that means finding a new career.

You’re thrilled. Now it’s going to be all better. Now he is home every night. He sits right beside you in church, if you still go to church. He doesn’t get random phone calls in the middle of the night. No one knocks at your door unexpectedly asking for help or handouts. Life is great, right?

Somewhere, at least one or two of you are wishing this would happen with your husband right now. But are you sure you’ve thought it through? Once he quits pastoring, what will he do?Where will he go? Who will he become?

How long do you think he can hide the threads of resentment weaving in his heart because you wanted him leave the calling that shaped his identity?

Now you won’t be just his lovely wife. You will be the reason why he is no longer fulfilling his divine calling as a shepherd. He loses his spark, that fire in his bones that made him feel like aman.

If he truly loved his role as a pastor, then after a while, he will no longer be the man he was before.

No longer a leader of people. Now he’s just another guy, going through the motions,surviving each day.

Would that make life better? Is that the husband you want? Is it worth it?

Or is God maybe calling you to join your husband in a ministry adventure that you can’t comprehend? Nope - it isn’t going to be easy. But then most valuable experiences come with a measure of sweat and tears.

If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

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© CLUTCH, 2009-2011 unless otherwise sourced.
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