healing and redemption: moving on

>> February 5, 2009

The best part about Cindy's story is the restoration of her marriage, a flourishing ministry where the couple helps other marriages in crisis and the hope that there is life after infidelity, porn addiction and sexual sin. But how do you get to that point? How do you ever talk to your PH the same way again? How do you learn to trust him? How do you stop hurting? How do you forgive? Don't you deserve to hurt him like he hurt you? Can you ever let him forget it? Will life ever go back to "normal"? Here's Cindy's advice for moving on:

  • Talk openly about everything with your husband. You’ll find that when you allow each other into every area of your life, the breeding ground for secrets will diminish significantly.
  • Work really hard not to get defensive or be sarcastic. Those two ingredients can really prolong the healing process.
  • Don’t throw it back in his face. Ever. If/when he brings up one of your shortcomings, you could be tempted to say, “Well, at least I haven’t broken my vows!” That is a sure sign that you want to hurt your husband. You may think he deserves it. But, I can promise you that if you want your marriage to stay in a circling pattern and not heal, this is the way to do it.
  • When hard days come, because they will, get on your knees and and ask God what He wants to teach you through this. He will not waste your hurt. I promise!


Anonymous,  February 7, 2009 at 9:56 AM  

What if he doesn't want to talk about anything that he does? What if his response, "You create your own reality" is his method of saying that if I want peace I won't ask? What do I do with that? What if he says that I just need to let it go already and move on?

Cindy Beall February 7, 2009 at 12:53 PM  

Anonymous, I would love to answer your questions but I don't really feel like I have enough information to give you accurate counsel. I would love it if you would email me so that I can be a little more specific. cindybealldotcom@gmail.com

Anonymous,  February 12, 2009 at 10:18 PM  

Thank you so much for your response Cindy. My struggle in emailing you is that I will no longer be able to be anonymous which exposes my husband. In trying to get help for us, he has seen my 'reaching out' as an attempt to get him fired and to disgrace him. This is the reason for my reluctance to disclose who I am. Of late, I have been reading the responses and experiences of others and am trying to believe that this too shall truly pass one day.

Thank you...

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