PW blogroll...

Today, CLUTCH got a little updating on its resources and accessories. (Check out the newest link for "The Preacher's Wife" under PW SITES to your right!)

We've added a number of PW bloggers to our blogroll as well. If you keep a blog and would like us to add you, please just send an email with your URL to: clutchtalk (at) gmail (dot) com. We'll be happy to add you!

chime in: setting limits

Sandra, a reader and Clutch contributor, wants you to chime in:

I don't know if other pastors' wives deal with this, but I would like to know how their husbands handle counseling. A couple approached my husband today about getting weekly counseling sessions from him. This will make weekly sessions with three couples! Do other pastor husbands counsel or do they have someone else who does it? When do they fit it in? If it's "after hours" do they charge church members? Non-church members? I want to be able to help these couples, but it's beginning to get overwhelming!

PMS: what's your biggest challenge?

With each intentional decision to either be a stay-at-home PW, work from home or part-time or full-time there seem to be definite trade-offs.

The flexibility and availability you have to support your husband in ministry is often traded with anxieties of pursuing your own professional calling and financial sacrifices. Those with paying jobs often feel overly committed to work and dissatisfied with the time and energy they have left to give to home, family and church.

What's your biggest challenge regarding your work set-up? Is it financial? fulfillment? lack of energy? guilt? or something else.

Talk to us!

PMS: my calling to ministry

When I was seventeen I sat in church and surrendered my life to God's service. I signed on the dotted line, so to speak, without knowing fully what that meant or where that would take me.

In 2002, in the middle of my first year teaching in a small community near Denton, TX, I again surrendered my plans, my pride, and what I thought was my purpose to God.

I saw a need. I felt a call. I was going to be a women's minister. The large churches around Dallas were hiring women specifically to minister to the women of their congregations. That must be what God wanted me to do.

I moved to North Carolina, started teaching at a Christian school, and took classes toward my degree. I tried hard not to date the single History teacher, but he won me over with bribes of candy corn and golf lessons. The problem- he also felt a call to full time ministry. How could I be a women's minister if I were married to a pastor? A church would have to hire us both, or we would work at different churches, or.... maybe God would find another solution.

And now, after being out of seminary over a year, am I where I wanted to be when I started this journey? Sitting in that pew at seventeen years old, did I sign up for this?

To be honest, some times my answer is no. I didn't set out to get a Master of Divinity degree thinking it would help me be successful at what has become my daily routine.

Teaching our three year old to mind mommy, instead of teaching fifty (or five-hundred) women to obey God.

Unloading the dishwasher just to load it again, instead of going from a counseling session to a staff meeting.

Or the opportunities I have each day to change diapers, instead of seeing a woman change from a life of rebellion to a life that rejoices in the joy of knowing God.

But, I have learned you don't separate the sacred from the secular. The ministry I do for my family, through my home, and as I support my husband in his vocation as a minister follows in the footsteps of Hannah, the widow of Zarephath, and Priscilla.

My ministry isn't what I envisioned at 17, or even 22, but it is the ministry to which God called has called me. And I will honor Him through the opportunities He gives each day, as I continue to see ministry as more than having an office at the church.

How is your current ministry different from what you imagined it would be? Any advice for those who struggle wanting to do "more"?

Sandra Peoples lives in Pennsylvania. She focuses on ministering to her family so her husband can minister to their church. She blogs with friends at Today's Housewife .

PMS: prioritizing while working full-time

Name: Felicia Thomas

Her story:

At a recent Family Life Weekend to Remember conference I attended with my dear husband, I learned that my priorities were way out of line. As a wife and mother, my first priority is to grow in my relationship with God, second to respect and support my husband and third to teach and train my children. Everything else in my life should be ordered around these top three priorities.

Well, as a working mom who longs to be a stay at home mom, I knew I had some repenting to do. I teach and when school is in, I am usually running on fumes spiritually. The first thing to go out of my schedule is regular time in prayer and God’s Word. I know some of this resulted from my spiritual lukewarmness, but as the demands of being a working mother take their toll, the easy thing to put off became my time with the Lord. I realized also that I was angry with the Lord because I want to be a stay-at-home mom, but financially we cannot meet our obligations when I don’t contribute to the finances.

Fatigue sometimes makes it hard for me to be a supportive wife. I can be more critical of my husband because I feel overwhelmed and so I begin to attack his choices. The children become a blur in all of this. I find myself impatient with them and too tired to teach and train them, opting for more television time and more lying around.

I believe one can balance being a working parent by the power of the Holy Spirit.

• Prioritize time in prayer and God’s word.
  
• Enlist the Holy Spirit’s help to guide you through your day.
  
• Keep your fellowship with God at all times because He will strengthen you.
  
• Make sure you are seeking first His kingdom and listening to His voice regarding your choices and scheduling.
  
• In all things and situations give thanks for this is the will of God for you.

Do not take your frustrations out on your husband. Try to maintain a gentle and quiet spirit and reserve energy for him. The best way to continue to be supportive is to keep the lines of communication open and make sure you communicating your needs. I remind my husband that we are a team and in order for our home to operate smoothly he has to help me around the house.

Decide how much of your time your job will consume and set healthy boundaries. As a teacher, I made a conscious decision that I would not leave my children in daycare for more than nine hours a day. When I can pick them up sooner I do. Now as a mother of four boys, I try very hard to leave work at work and be available to my boys when I get home. I am intentional about family night and making sure the time we have together is quality.

Lastly, my advise for working PWs out there is to schedule some recharge time as often as you can, so you can present your family and God with your best.