guest blog: dealing with the nastiness

>> February 27, 2009

I don’t always like women very much. Women can be nasty. The jobs I have kept that have all women on staff are the hardest jobs I have had. Women have this tendency to rip one another apart. I suppose gossip and slander are our ways of making ourselves feel better about our own insecurities.

A few months ago I had the opportunity be on a panel for a Pastor's Wife Q&A. The attendees were all women who had the same thing in common. They were all Pastors’ wives. They were all at different ages and stages of life, but their questions had an uncanny theme. The thing they asked most about was how to deal with criticism and the bitterness that follows.

Pastor’s wife or not, all women deal with feelings of bitterness when they are betrayed by a friend or criticized unfairly by someone they care about. Here are some things I have done to deal with these issues:

  • Never fight back in the moment. You will say things you regret.
  • Try to see the hurt the other person is talking through.
  • Ask yourself if there is even a small amount of truth to what they are saying.
  • Don’t feed the fire of your insecurities by brooding over these things in your mind
  • Focus on others. A pity-party will only bring you down more.
  • Keep a sense of humor. Most of what people find to be critical about is pretty funny.
  • Wait till you are home or with your spouse to laugh. Laughing at them in the moment is almost as bad as fighting back in the moment.
  • Remember that Jesus was criticized and betrayed by the ones He loved the most. He sees. He cares.
Psalm 56:8: You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.

Michelle Wegner lives in Indiana where her PH, Rob, is a pastor at Granger Community Church. She has 3 girls, 2 dogs and a great blog.


Rachel larkin February 27, 2009 at 9:09 AM  

Good advice, very cool! Thanks for the post!

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