hiding in thee

Nearly every time I put my little boy back to bed after nursing him in the night, he lets out a darling little baby fart. One of the things that's so gloriously wonderful about babies is their complete ignorance of themselves. Here in a world where we're always being told we need to know ourselves, stand up for ourselves, and look within ourselves, I'm convinced that true fulfillment comes from being outside of ourselves. No wonder God told us to be like little children.

I was pondering this state of selflessness recently after another look into the life of Christ. This God-man slept, ate, and breathed the will of His Father, which was to bring light and life to suffering humanity. A quote by Hudson Taylor, early missionary to China, has lodged itself forever in my mind, "Measure your life by loss instead of gain. Not by the wine drunk, but by the wine poured forth. For love’s strength standeth in love’s sacrifice. And whosever suffereth most hath most to give."

A recent Bible lesson in our church was on meekness, this unassuming state of being which was once considered to be pathetic and weak. To me, meekness looks like being invisible with the image of Christ shining through. I hunger for that invisibility. I am the kind of person who easily takes personal offenses to heart, and I'm often too quick to withdraw from people. I pray for that "Christ esteem." I long to be so unaware of self and so connected with Christ that when negativity comes my way, I can smile knowing that Christ takes it on my behalf.

The other challenge is letting God take things on my husband's behalf. The lady who calls and chews him out for every little thing doesn't have to ruin my day. Or the lady who needs him to know about every good deed she's doing in the community. Or the man who subtly uses his influence to undermine my husband's leadership. I'm sure you all have these kinds of people God is challenging you to love.

You've heard it said that you can never love another person until you've learned to love yourself. I'm not so sure about that. But I do think I can only learn to love these people as I learn to hide myself and my identity, my feelings, and my rights within the Lover of my soul.

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