the legacy we leave (part 1)
>> August 18, 2009
There are days when I (Sarah) wish I wasn't a PW. And not for the reasons you might think.
Not because of the long hours. Not because there are 600 other people who feel strongly about their stake of "ownership" on my PH's time. Not because I miss sitting together with my husband's arm around me in church. (Although, on certain days, all of those things have crossed my mind, I'll admit!)
But, while no PW is perfect (and I hope you're not self-imposing that expectation), some days it would be nice to just be "normal". Like the days when you make a quick run to the grocery store in your grungiest sweats with greasy hair - and you're guaranteed to run into the most well-dressed member of your church at the checkout line.
Or the days when you're tired, cranky and in a rush - and you honk loudly at the driver that just cut you off, only to realize that it was someone from church. And they DEFINITELY recognized your car.
*Sigh*
Being a PW can sometimes feel like being an ambassador. Yes, we are human. But so are the people around us - and they still form opinions about us, our husbands, and our church based on how they see us act.
Sometimes it would be so nice to just have some time "off" from being under observation. To just shrug off the responsibility of being a representative.
But I suppose Jesus didn't ever have a time where he wasn't responsible for his actions and words, either.
(...to be continued...)
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6 comments:
amen, sister! we are singing the same song!
I can only imagine the kind of pressure you are under being in that kind of position. And it isn't fair to have the extra expectations put on a pastor's wife where you feel like you have to be perfect sometimes because you are always being observed. It is a high calling and I know that you've handled it with grace and sometimes mistakes because we all are human. But if anyone was cut out for the job with some mistakes thrown in (cause like I said, we are all human), I would think that it would be you. Marius is lucky to have found his match girl. ;) I pray that God continues to give you love and patience for the church, I'm sure it doesn't always come easy. Keep up the great blogging!
I know how hard it is for a PWs to meet expectations of everyone, even though they are all different. Also the way the church takes the pastor away from home. There needs to be boundaries set in place, and teach the members that this is you and your husbands space. It must be done, and members must realize that the first duty of the Pastor is God, then his family, then the church. Be strong, God will help you find your strength.
Very good post. All of them I've found have been very relevant. But this is the kind of stuff everyone feels and hardly anyone talks about.
Girl, thanks for sayin' it out loud.
This is so true for so many PWs. And humanly that is how we feel. Yet, I believe that the more and more focused we get on Jesus, the less concerned we will be about what others think, and without even realizing it, become the ambassador that God wants us to be! This is so freeing when it happens. It takes away the fishbowl feel. Try it!
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