chime in: questions from you (7)

>> May 29, 2009

It's time to chime in! Here's a question from a reader:

"i'm needing some help in the area of not getting along with the other pastor wives on staff - their dedication or lack of for the church & their pastor really is disturbing, upsetting & just makes me full of anger sometimes. help!"

Advice, ladies. Give her some...


Anonymous,  May 31, 2009 at 1:17 AM  

In the past I have struggled with this. I have realized that I need to focus on my relationship with Christ, and my servants heart.
Though it is easy to get caught up in others, especially when we see what goes on behind the scenes, what is more honoring to God is when I serve Him and others joyfully. It is what I am teaching my kids, and it is what I need to do, no matter what. Not always easy, but always necessary.

SKA June 10, 2009 at 2:37 PM  

I've experienced this at times, too. For me, I've found that if I focus on how much I wish the other PWs were different - I just get more and more angry and disillusioned.

So I felt God asking me to just disregard their attitudes and spend more time dwelling on my own spirit. As I just tried to be myself and to fulfill my calling to support my husband and serve the people in our church, I found that I felt less betrayed by my fellow PWs' indifference.

Interestingly, as I've just continued to do what I feel God is calling me to do, I saw a gradual change in the other PWs without me ever saying anything. A greater interest in serving, more positive attitudes about their husbands, etc. It may not always happen that way - but you never know, it might! :)

Roger Cox June 11, 2009 at 8:18 PM  


Who is responsible for the attitudes of those around us? Sometimes we are responsible for the reactions of those around us and if so, we need to learn how others see us. Once we have learned that, then learn to project the image that we really want to project.

It is very difficult to learn how others really see us. Perhaps you have a very close friend that is completely trustworthy. I can hope.

Next what is our responsibility to change the bad in others that we see around us. We do have a responsibility for this "within our circle of influence." So, are these people in your circle of influence? And what level of influence do you have with that person.

In general, people often assume a circle of influence that they do not have. This leads to a condition known as over-responsibility. It is deadly to all relationships and causes your circle of responsibility to contract.

I grant that these are non-trivial questions for you, but ... I think it is the core of the issues for you. God Bless you as you journey with HIM.

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