>> January 27, 2010

I saw this graphic on Anne Jackson's Permission to Speak Freely site (go check it out), and immediately I wondered how applicable this notion would be to us, young pastor's wives. What if it read, "I've tried so hard not to be the stereotypical Pastor's Wife,..."

I can't tell you how many times I've met a woman who IS the stereotypical PW! She works with the children's ministry *and* plays the piano *and* cooks for the potluck *and* gets to church on time. Inevitably, we talk about pastorswifering and she tells me how she's "so-not the typical pastor's wife. I've experienced this from PWs of all ages. Which begs the question, What is the typical pastor's wife, anyway... but that's not the point of this post! Back to the original thought...

Do you find yourself retaliating from the pressure to be what church member's expect?

In order to assert your independence from expectations and showcase your individuality, have you ever ended up straying away from the woman God designed you to be?

In what ways have you gone out of your way to prove or convey that you do not live in the PW box? Has that ever led you to sin or to glorify the sin in your life?

Talk to me.

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Anonymous,  January 27, 2010 at 3:40 PM  

I don't know about falling into sin as a result of rebellion, however I do know that I have a rebellious streak that sometimes gets the best of me. I often want to say the first thing that comes to mind rather than the gently smoothed over version or I want to wear my little shorts & tank that I wear around the house to run to the store but I can't because we have parishioners who work there and many others who frequent the same store. So my little pity party begins and the if only I weren't the pastor's wife...In reality I shouldn't do those things anyway because we are to guard our tongue and speak words that edify regardless of who we are and I really shouldn't run around looking slutty in public even if I weren't the pastor's wife. So I think it's all just the daily struggle of flesh versus spirit and striving to be who Christ wants not who I want.

Melody January 27, 2010 at 6:05 PM  

This is a great thought. And I think I have probably been guilty of being "atypical" at times just for rebellious reasons but I feel mostly I am able to be who God has created me to be without much "fear of man" but yet with a healthy dose of respecting and honoring others. There's a fine line between just "being who you are" and living according to standards.....standards set up according to scripture not expectations of lay people or any people for that matter. My personality just happens to be a bit out of the box but I don't look down on others who happen to be inside the box because it's just who they were created to be, if that makes any sense at all.

Anonymous,  February 7, 2010 at 10:19 AM  

Interesting to reflect on. I still feel a bit too 'new' in our current church to really know who I am within it and yet we've been here 3 years! I thought I was completely comfortable with who I am, what I do within the church etc but lately I'm not so sure. I think part of it is that the church hasn't had a PW for many years - the previous ministers (we're in Scotland) were a husband and wife couple so the PW was the pastor. Now I don't really think the members of the church really know what to expect from a PW. Interesting to think about!

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