>> April 6, 2009

There's many reasons we chose "FORGIVENESS" this month. The last few PMS weeks have dealt with things hard to forgive. Things that can turn a PW's life upside down.

I've had a long personal journey with forgiveness. Several years ago a person came into my life and the resulting experiences were shattering. I couldn't avoid her, didn't want to hate her, and yet could find in my heart no ability to forgive.

Every time I was at the point of forgiveness, some new situation tossed me back into the cycle of raging anger, crushing hurt, and gnawing guilt for not being able to just "let it go".

I begged God for the gift of forgiveness. My heart refused to melt. Gradually I distanced myself - and it began to affect other healthy relationships, too.

Recently, this person was diagnosed with a terminal illness. And I've started thinking about my years of fighting against forgiveness. I've been clinging to the desire to make them understand how badly they've hurt me over and over. But now I'm suddenly thinking in a more eternal context.

Can I truly withhold forgiveness? Is it my right? Is it that big of a deal? And in answer to a new prayer - I feel God giving me a desire to forgive. A need to forgive. My story isn't done yet...

What about you? Is there something you need to forgive? We all know that being a PW provides lots of opportunities for practicing forgiveness! But what about that one thing you just can't let go?

Let's talk about it.


Lauren April 6, 2009 at 11:31 AM  

In my experience, unforgiveness has been a poison that I drank and expected someone else to die from. It keeps me in bondage to the enemy and my lack of surrender keeps God from moving freely in my life, but it has very little to no consequences for the offender. Unforgiveness tends to give us a false sense of control: we can hold onto it and it continues to punish the person, we think. But it only punishes our relationship with God.

I have also found that forgiveness is a CHOICE and not a feeling. We choose to forgive before we have the feelings that come with forgiveness and surrender.

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