the nagging wife

>> November 17, 2011

As "life" managers, control is necessary. You have to exercise management over schedules, routines, commitments, boundaries, and so forth. Structure implementation is important.

Our lives can be demanding. It is easy to get caught up and start nagging without consciencely being aware. (of course not you - the other Pastor's Wife) But dare I say it's actually a habit with some. (gasp)

Let me break nagging down for you. Nagging: continual faultfinding, complaining, petulant (moved to or showing impatient irritation, especially over trifling annoyance)
  • they called you again
  • how many times are they going to text tonight
  • why did you say that in your message
  • what in the world were you thinking
  • sigh or eye rolling coupled with deep exhale
  • biting your bottom lip, crossing your arms and raising that eyebrow
  • what was that tweet about this morning
  • yelling, sarcasm, that grossed out look,
Yuk! It feels ugly just typing all of that. There are always ways to reword things. I am a word freak. I'm not a literary specialist, just understand the power behind words, tone, phraseology, voice inflection, and so on.

Now we all have bad days; sometimes, a rough week. But if you are on week three, a month, a season, a year of....well pure nagging. Friend, we need to talk girl!

Yes, I'm a firm believer in "don't complain about what you tolerate" ~ yes, I believe you must point out certain things that require change.

But it's so important to not be guilty of being the nagging wife. When people nag, they are difficult to be around. You begin to block them out. The value and weight of what they say loses precedence. Your defense mechanisms go up when they enter the room or their name is mentioned. You avoid their phone calls, don't return texts and immediately delete their voicemail.

If you find yourself nagging, pray about it. Really, ask God to touch your heart. Ask God to give you the words to say to express the point you are making without doing it in a nagging manner. Practice "climate control" in your home, your work place, in the car, at church, with the kids out and about, wherever you go. Plan ahead if needed. You know what sets off the nagging triggers so create the atmosphere you want.

God gave us the ability to change the world. Let's start in the worlds we live in, impact and influence. Honey attracts more than vinegar. I believe that God can give us the words to say making us smooth operators and skillful in speech.

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Rebecca November 17, 2011 at 4:56 PM  

That was a hard read but I needed it. Thank you for that. :)

Anonymous,  November 17, 2011 at 8:48 PM  

If you think you felt "ugly" typing that description, imagine how the woman who's doin' all that looks!!! No amount of concern, about an outward appearance, can cover a dis-eased heart!!! Gotta let God deal with all that stuff! Thanks for your article! It was right on target!

Veronica November 18, 2011 at 1:31 PM  

Love you ladies & thanks!! I like to call these type of posts "check up from the neck up."

:):):) Happy Friday to you!

Kathy Sykes November 19, 2011 at 6:02 PM  

There is something to be said about the POWER of holding your tongue. I am in the process of learning this and I have been successful in the last month or so. It is very easy to point out negative things instead of positive things. Why is that? I read on another blog that we view ourselves with good intentions but judge others by their actions. That's where the nagging comes into play. We must realize that others have good intentions also but sometimes things don't always work out as planned. Thanks for the post!

Veronica Brown November 21, 2011 at 3:00 PM  

Hey Kathy! Great to hear from you!

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