PMS: the trapped pastor's wife

>> October 16, 2009

Kellee is a fellow pastor's wife that you know casually from Seminary. You run into each other at the mall and she takes you aside and unloads on you. Her husband has cheated on her with a church member. He's unrepentant. Says he's stopped. Wants her to get over it and quit being so angry. He's agreed to go to counseling, but has no time right now. She doesn't know what to do. Doesn't want to leave him. Isn't confident she can make it on her own with her 4 small children. She doesn't want to out him to the church. It will leave her relationship in shambles and the family with no income.

How can you help?


BHolland October 16, 2009 at 2:55 PM  

He's unrepentant, but says He's stopped and wants you to get over it? Something is not quite adding up here...

SKA October 16, 2009 at 3:44 PM  

Be there for her. Listen. Let her know that she can visit you if she needs to get away for a couple days. Encourage her to let the grandparents take the kids for a few days so she can get away and clear her head. Remind her that this is unhealthy behavior from her husband and she shouldn't put up with it unless there is repentance. Help her find a good Christian counselor to see, even if her husband isn't ready to go with her.

Keep her confidence and DON'T go blabbing to all your best friends!

Remember that her world is upside down and it's going to take her some time and probably some waffling back and forth before she makes a final decision. In the meantime, she needs SOMEBODY to believe her and be in her corner.

Anonymous,  October 17, 2009 at 6:21 PM  

Gee, uh.... WHOA! This one here is a whole lot Delina. Thank you for your spirit of helps.

I agree completely with BHolland, yet appreciate what SKA has outlined. That last sentence SKA is probably the most important (in my opinion) for her own sanity!

I'm soooo not ready to touch this one, (too close to home) but I will be checking back very often to get some insight from the other PWs out there. Thank God for CLUTCH:PMS! Most times we as PWs feel so alone and unable to truly let this stuff out.

Ellen October 18, 2009 at 11:39 AM  

That's a tough one. I don't know if I'd advise anything except for counseling. If he doesn't want to go then she should still go just for help with the anger and hurt that she must be experiencing. Then I would probably just listen to what she's saying and try to be there for her.

Rachael. October 20, 2009 at 10:53 AM  

I wouldn't have any advice other than to just listen and love her<3
Maybe try and take her children for her so she can have a break and maybe even a date...even if it's a date where they can just go and talk.

My heart breaks for this women...

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