the baby rollercoaster...

It's been a rough month, y'all!

For about three weeks I'd been feeling really terrible - exhausted, lethargic, completely worn down. I assumed it was normal late-third-trimester joys, until I fainted in Target a couple of weeks ago. My doctor's office told me to go to the Emergency Room and make sure everything was okay. I'm sooo not the kind of person who runs to the ER every time I feel dizzy, but this time I'm glad I did.

Blood tests revealed that I was severely anemic, with about half the normal volume of blood in my body (instead of twice the normal volume as it should be when you're pregnant), as well as low potassium and very low blood pressure. The doctors were puzzled, since all my blood work had come back normal only 3 or 4 weeks earlier.

After 8.5 hours on my back on a stretcher in the ER (not fun at 36 weeks pregnant!), and fainting a second time, I was transferred at midnight from our local ER to the downtown Atlanta hospital where I had planned to have the baby.

Two transfusions, three days, and four units of blood later - I was discharged as "stable" and sent to my regular weekly OB checkup with my doctor across the street. Still fainting and dizzy, with lab numbers that were barely reaching the minimum "okay" levels, and feeling no better after all the blood transfusions, my doctor sent me back across the street to be readmitted.

More blood labs. (Don't they know that there's no point in giving you blood if they're just going to take it all away again?!? Sheesh.) Tests and consults with a hematologist. No clear answers.

Tests and consults with a cardiologist. More blood labs. Diagnosis of dysautonomia and orthostatic hypostasis, compounded by pregnancy. (Basically those big words mean that 1)my automatic systems - like blood pressure and pulse rates - don't function correctly and sometimes do the opposite of what they're supposed to, and 2)instead of constricting to recycle used blood back to my heart and brain, the veins in my legs relax and let it stay there.)

Which still didn't answer the sudden drop in iron levels from 12 down to 5. Or the reason why I didn't have enough blood in my body, even though I wasn't bleeding anywhere internally.

Two more days in the hospital. Endless worry about our 17-month old son being juggled by friends and relatives back at home. Lots and LOTS of prayers. More dizziness and fainting spells. Not able to stand up and walk without losing consciousness.

Friday night, I was sent home on strict bedrest, until my doctor was back in town to make a decision about early delivery or not. Saturday afternoon, my awesome nurse-PH went to the ER himself. He'd been getting me some ice water when the icemaker got jammed. As he tried to pull it out of the freezer door, it flew back and hit him squarely in the mouth, causing deep lacerations. When it rains, it pours! This week we spent more time in medical facilities than in the entire 8 years of our marriage combined!

On Monday our doctor said we could have the baby that week. Wednesday morning, 6 AM, found us driving the hour back to the hospital, this time headed straight to the Labor & Delivery wing.

At 9:22 AM, Sophíe Alexandria Grace was born, healthy and strong @ 7 lbs 5.5 oz, 21 inches long, and 37 weeks 1 day gestation.

...baby Sophíe @ 2 days old...

They kept her in the Transitional Special Care Unit for 6 hours or so, making sure her lungs were fine, and checking to see if my anemia had affected her iron levels. Everything came back clear and strong, and after several agonizing hours of waiting - she finally came to stay in our room.

So it's been a little crazy - and I probably won't be up to posting much original material for a little while here on CLUTCH. But I want to thank you all for your prayers and Facebook messages and texts and voicemails. You are all just wonderful!

...1 day old...

In the meantime, Veronica will be holding down the fort, and we have lots of guest posts lined up from other great PW writers.

Lots of love,
~Sarah

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just for pastor's wives (7)

Dear Pastor's Wife,

I asked my husband what he would share with pastor's wives if he could. His response to me was,

"I would tell them to be acutely aware of their capacity to make or break both their husband and their church."

In short, realize your influence, for it is greater than you might think.

He was quick to assure that this is not a statement to elicit fear, but rather to encourage pastor's wives to leverage their place in ministry to further God's kingdom.

He and I have seen it go both ways. We've seen men in ministry flourish, and as you peeled back the curtain of their life, you could see the wife cheering him on and using her position and influence in his life to propel him forward.

She is another set of ears to keep a pulse on what people in the church need and are thinking. She is another mouthpiece wisely speaking into circumstances and representing the vision in places where he is not present. She is a salve when he is wounded. She gives feedback for his own good and growth. She can provide safety for the church with a voice of reason or caution. She promotes, and encourages, and prays for, and champions, and nurtures, and understands him and his ministry.

But sadly, we have also seen pastors whose wives held them back.

Mostly it is that these wives have become too dependent on their husbands for their own happiness and satisfaction. He is her only true friend. She relies on him to get all of her needs met, and when he inevitably fails at this task, she nags, gets frustrated, or falls into a bad state emotionally. Perhaps she gossips or perhaps she is critical instead of encouraging.

Sometimes these wives allow themselves to become resentful of the church. They withdraw and neglect being the unique help meet to their husbands, and ultimately some wives push their husbands right out of the ministry.

I think we as pastor's wives in some ways need to think differently. Instead of, "I need to be up front teaching to make a difference" it needs to be "I need to concentrate my energies on influencing my husband in positive ways". Whether it's through encouragement, discussions over sermons as he teaches the word, or helping him see his blind spots, in many ways a pastor's wife is pastor to the pastor.

Others can teach in children's ministry. Others can lead Bible Study. Others can serve in the kitchen. But no one else can be the pastor's wife. She is more influential to her pastor-husband than the elder board. She has the ability to propel her husband to lofty places, or to bring him low and demoralize him. Even if everything else in ministry is going well, if things are not good at home, he will be discouraged. Only she knows his true joys and struggles and can minister to him in that way.

They say that behind every great man is a great woman. I believe that behind every thriving pastor is a wife who embraces her role and makes his success and well-being one of her top priorities. May we be strong and godly women who show God's grace to our husbands and look for ways to help him thrive in his God given calling.

Choosing joyfully to help my husband,~ Joy

Growing up in a pastor’s home, Joy Dombrow was molded and shaped by a life of ministry and service.  While studying Human Development/Education at a Christian college and then teaching, she partnered with her husband in youth ministry at four different churches, a calling that would continue for 15 years.

Currently, Joy’s husband Joel serves as lead pastor of Willamette Christian Church, where she serves in a wide variety of teaching, serving, counseling and advisory roles. She is passionate about helping women understand and apply the truths in God’s Word and enjoys using speaking opportunities to do so.

In her free time, Joy writes, cheers her kids at sporting events, plays board games, chats with friends, reads five books at any given time, and makes references to her beloved television show Little House on the Prairie... all while sipping on a cup of peppermint tea.

Joy and her husband make their home in the Portland, Oregon area, along with their two school-aged children, Nathan and Elisabeth.

She has graciously shared this series as a guest writer for CLUTCH. You can read more about her life, ministry and family on her personal blog here.

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remembering Jesus' sacrifice...

CLUTCH Friends:

We have been praying for you all week as you prepare to serve this Resurrection Sunday. We are believing that people will be drawn like metal to a magnet into churches around the nation and across the globe to hear the gospel. We are covering you and your family in prayer! Have a fantastic Sunday as you celebrate and lift up the King!

Much love,

CLUTCH Team

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GUEST POST::a whole new world

Pastor Filip & Taylor Bajic

Taylor Bajic, born and raised in the United States, is a newlywed pastor's wife married to Filip, who was born and raised in Serbia. Together, they now live in Scotland, where Filip is a pastoral intern.

Coming into ‘pastor’s wifehood’, I had no notion of what to expect. None of my family members are pastors, so I had never experienced or witnessed first-hand the ‘pastor’s kid’ life. 

Before meeting my PH, Filip, at a Christian college in England, I had never, ever thought of myself as being the wife of a pastor. Mind you, I had never had anything against it – on the contrary, I greatly admired pastor’s wives (and I do now, even more); but the thought had simply never entered my mind.

I had no idea of what kind of man I would end up marrying (I had my educational studies on the mind at the time), but I wasn't closed-minded about it and was open to God’s leading.

I met Filip when I was 19, and I had just begun my second year of Literature studies and he was in his first year studying Theology. Being the ‘homebody’ that I am (and very comfortable in the States), I had only planned on attending college overseas for one year. Then I planned to go back home and finish at a Christian university in Tennessee, where I had begun my studies. But I think God had other plans – and today, I can say that I am very glad and truly blessed.

Filip and I connected surprisingly quickly and felt with each development stage in our relationship  that God knew what He was doing and we were somehow part of a bigger plan. We both felt for the first time that we were being truly led to another person, like we were ‘meant to be together’, silly as it might sound.

Largely due to the small-school dormitory life at the college in England, we became very close very quickly, started dating and even began to discuss the possibility of marriage by the end of our first year there. What should we do? Should we try the long distance thing, or should I stay there with him and continue our studies together?

As terrifying and new as this was, it felt right. If you know me, you'd know that I wouldn't lightly make a decision to move an ocean away from family and life-long friends – not without very careful consideration and prayer. Needless to say, after much discussion with Filip and our parents, I chose to stay until we had finished our Bachelor degrees and Filip had completed his Masters. Without a doubt, I am very close to my family and I greatly miss them – we wish we could visit both our families much more often – but I have never been so sure about a decision in my life, and God has truly blessed us!

Filip got sponsored to pursue his Masters in Theology by the Scottish Mission, so we made plans to move to Scotland in the summer of 2010 for him to begin his pastoral internship. When it was time to apply for visas, pack up our flat (that's called an apartment in the USA) and get ready to go, something happened with the visa process. Suddenly we were completely uncertain of whether we had a position at all, and we were advised to look for another post.

Being so close to our planned moving date and confident that everything would go smoothly, we had already left our respective jobs, so we braced ourselves for a financially tight transition. We were so worried – not sure of where to turn.

Our British visas would expire in two months. We prayed and prayed. We thought maybe God had other plans, so we tried our best to be patient and open-minded. God really worked on our hearts and gave us such peace; although we were worried and scared, somehow we both felt confident that God would provide. And He did, as He always does.

Four months later, after much difficulty and stress the visa situation was ironed out and we were able to move to Scotland after all. Since arriving here, we have received blessing upon blessing – we quickly found a lovely flat to live in, we have met such incredible people (both in the Mission churches and the community) and life is full of joys.

No, I haven’t found a job yet in the four months that we have lived there. And yes, we are still recovering from financial strain.

But God has shown us a different side of things – the bigger picture. He has shown us what pastoral life is like and what it can be. He has shown us that no matter what happens, He will provide. It may not be in the way we would like or expect, but we can count on it – it will always be for the best in the long run.

Since becoming a pastor’s wife, I have learned such a great deal. My eyes have been opened to the reality of ministry. I do not consider myself to be a ‘gifted pastor’s wife’, but I believe God can really use me – and I sure hope He does.

He uses the quiet passions that you never expected to be able to use and turns them into a way to serve His children, as well as Himself. He puts people in our lives – and puts us in others’ lives – in a way that we cannot ignore and that we can learn from.

God is working. And it’s fantastic to witness it. I have never experienced God in such a way as now. People are what God cares about. And boy, am I glad He knows what He’s doing!

No matter how unequipped I feel, I think I can get on board with that.

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News on Sarah and Baby

CLUTCH Family: Time for another Sarah update. As of Friday she was discharged from the hospital. That is great news! She is however on strict bedrest. Continue to keep her in your prayers as you come before the Lord this week. It is possible they will be moving forward with delivery this week; I will keep you posted. WE LOVE YOU SARAH!!!! Stay in bed! It's times like this we all wished we lived a little closer to help with meals, cleaning, laundry and whatever else you might need. Ladies I will keep you posted, Veronica Share

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