book review::and the shofar blew

Francine Rivers is one of my favorite Christian authors.

She seems to have a knack for taking tough subjects and making them approachable through fiction. As a teenager I was sucked into her "Mark of the Lion" series. In college I appreciated her portrayal of God's relentless love for us as she retold the story of Hosea and Gomer in "Redeeming Love".

Several years ago I bought "and the Shofar Blew" at my local bookstore. I read it, liked it, didn't think much about it.

Last week I was browsing our newly unpacked bookshelves and picked it up again. Read it cover to cover in two days.

This time I could relate to the book in a whole different way. Being a PW for the last 7 years gave me appreciation for her description of the battles raging over the hearts and wills of young pastors.

Rivers skillfully exposes the potential for arrogance and self-centeredness in successful young pastors. She showcases the dangers of upside down priorities to the young pastor's marriage and family. And she deftly illustrates just how easily "church" can become infected with an egocentric country club mentality, how gospel can be replaced by greed, how preaching can become prattling - without us ever being able to pinpoint the actual shift.

I felt so powerfully moved by this book that I urged my PH to read it too. He's working through it in the rare bits of spare time he has... But already the story has sparked great conversations between us about how we can prayerfully safeguard our own ministry journey from these pitfalls.

I don't know if Rivers wrote the book for a pastoral-family audience, or if she meant it for a broader Christian readership. I'm sure both categories could find something to apply to their own roles. But as a pastor's wife I found it especially timely and practical.

If you've never read this book, I totally recommend putting it on your summer book list. And if you have read it, I'd love to start a discussion on what you learned from the story in the comments below.

© CLUTCH, 2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
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"complete him" challenge...

So girls, I came across this challenge and decided that I'm doing it! Want to join me in making our husbands feel loved and amazing this summer?

There's a challenge for each week from June 7th to August 9th. Watch the video below, and if you decide to join, you can link up on Courtney's page and post the Challenge button on your own blog.




Leave a comment if you're going to join! 

© CLUTCH, 2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
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HOW TO::make your own soap

When I got the idea, Craig (my PH) made me promise that we wouldn’t smell like “dirty hippies.”  

My mom, who was a hippie (and still is for all intents and purposes) would often say, “I was a hippie, but I was never a dirty hippie.”  So maybe it’s a misnomer all together. 

At any rate, Craig was concerned.  I figured, The stuff costs two dollars, so if I have to dump it, who cares?
           
So what's this stuff that caused such a stir over cleanliness in our home?  

Jenah’s Home Made Laundry Soap. 

I shamelessly take credit for this whole notion, but in reality, I first heard about making your own laundry soap not from a hippie, but none other than the Duggars.  Yup, you heard me right.  Nineteen kids and counting.  Something about this family intrigues me.  

And when they talked about making their own laundry soap to save money, I thought, Interesting… why can’t I do that?   I balked at doing it for a long time because it just seemed, well, a little too “out there” for me.  And maybe just a little too much work.  There was no way that a homemade anything could work better than something that I could purchase at Target, right?
           
Somewhere along the line we have been fed the lie that there is no way homemade anything can be better and we've decided to believe it.  But the truth of the matter is: this stuff is great. 

I really had nothing to lose (well besides the $2 anyway) so I gave it a try.   I hunted down all the things I needed: Borax, (easy)  Fels-Naptha bar, (easy if you know where to look) and washing soda (a little trickier.)  I gathered my supplies along with a five-gallon pail (with a top) from Menards, and went for it. 

I was a little uncertain, but decidedly hopeful.  Could this really work? 

I followed the directions.  But once I was done it was just sort of, well, runny.  All Free and Clear is so… honey-like.  I prepared myself for the “it was too good to be true moment,” but instead I was pleasantly surprised.
           
The only thing that mattered was that our clothes smelled nice and that they were clean.  Check and check. 

Some “money saving” ideas I have tried are at best passable. 
Other things are doable. 
Some are ok, but for the money I save I can put up with it. 
But the thing with laundry soap is -- I would never buy commercially made detergent again.  Ever.  This stuff is awesome.  And $2 for TEN GALLONS?!  Bring it on.  I will take the 25 minutes to make it.  And I will take the time to hunt down washing soda.  It is so worth it.
            

I even gave this away for gifts at Christmas last year.  And you’ll never guess what I got in return.  Empty laundry soap bottles with a pleading, "Can I have some more, please?"           

Ok, so how do you make this stuff?  Well, gather your supplies, and I’ll show you how. (Tips on finding the ingredients are at the end of the blog.)
 

Jenah’s HomeMade Laundry Soap

Borax

Fels-Naptha bar

washing soda

five-gallon pail (with a top)

Step one:
Grate the Fels-Naptha bar (I like to use my food processor.)  In a saucepan, heat 4 cups of water and the grated soap till the soap dissolves.  Stir it around a little.

Step two:
Fill your five-gallon bucket halfway with hot water.  Mix in 1 cup of washing soda, ½ cup borax and the melted Fels-Naptha mixture.  Stir it around.  Fill to the top of the five-gallon pail with more hot water, then let it sit overnight to gel.

Step three:
The next day, mix your soap in the five-gallon pail (My friend Raychel’s husband Seth mixes hers for her with a joint-compound mixer.  Craig never seems to be around when I need his mixing abilities, so I find a large stick or use a giant ladle.)  Fill your laundry soap bottle/container half full with the soap, then fill the rest of the way with water.   (Remember, when you make this, the soap in your five-gallon pail is DOUBLE STRENGTH, so don’t forget to dilute it every time you fill up your laundry soap container!) 

Step four:
Wash your clothes!  For a top loader, use 5/8 cup.  For a front loader, use ¼ cup.  Someone asked me if this works with all water temperatures.  The answer is, YUP!

Makes:
Ten gallons of laundry soap.   For all of you “math challenged” out there like me, that’s a whopping 180 loads in a top loader and an unbelievable 640 loads in a front loader. (Real loads, not just the make believe kind conventional detergents claim on their bottles.)

Enjoy Your Fresh Clothes!

Scrounging Tips:
Fels-Naptha: On the bottom shelf of the laundry aisle.  Almost every larger grocery store has them, although, I have NOT found them at Target.  It is a small bar, like the size of a regular bar of soap, but the smell is strong.  Your nose will lead you to it.

Borax: If you can't find this, there is something seriously wrong with you.  Just kidding.  This I HAVE seen at our Target, so therefore you should be able to find it ANYWHERE, maybe even at the Kwik-Trip.  Found in the laundry aisle.

Washing Soda: Not to be confused with BAKING soda.  Baking soda and washing soda have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT chemical make-ups.  This comes in a box, about the size of a small box of cereal.  They do carry this at our large grocery store here in town in the laundry aisle.  However, if yours does not, talk to a manager and they should be able to get it for you.  If you can't get it where you live, try a bigger town, Or the internet.  (The shipping can be expensive, though.)  Once you get your hands on it, it will last you a LONG time. 

Five Gallon Pails: Hardware store or large lumber land such as Menard's or Lowe's.   

 
© CLUTCH, 2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

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apologies...

Girls, I owe you an apology.

This week has been scant on posts, and it's my fault. We were visiting the grandparents in another state for Memorial Day, and the week has been crazy.

A few days ago, my 7-month old son reached up to pat daddy's face and accidentally gouged out a chunk of daddy's cornea instead.

That required a trip to the doctor, a round of antibiotics, and a pirate-worthy eyepatch! It also meant that I needed to do all the family driving for a bit.

And blogging dropped to the bottom of my priority list.

We'll get back on track next week. Thanks for your patience in the meantime!!

© Sarah K. Asaftei, 2009 unless otherwise sourced. Use allowed by express written permission only.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone.)

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positive discipline - part 3

Let’s continue our discussion on positive discipline. First of all, let me reply to a comment that was made about how discipline shouldn’t always be pleasant. By positive, I don't mean pleasant. I mean the results are positive, as opposed to negative and destructive. There's a difference between punishment and discipline. Discipline will always result in positive, whereas punishment will be negative. Discipline is making disciples out of our children--instilling the character of Christ, while punishment is simply acting upon our children because we don't like what they did.

Now, to continue, positive discipline should be honest and clear. To be honest, we need to stear clear of sarcasm and generalizations—a general rule in communication, BTW—and honestly communicate our feelings about the misbehavior. Last night, my son did something that I thought was rude and disrespectful. So I told him, “I felt disrespected when you did that.” I was honest about my feelings, which helped him to realize that his actions had an effect on someone else, namely me. Additionally, I focused on how I felt, rather than accusing him of deliberately acting that way. It prevented him from getting defensive, and all he could do was apologize and think about what he had done to hurt me.

Secondly, being honest means that we don’t threaten something that we know good and well we can’t or won’t follow through with. We should never threaten that we will leave our child somewhere if they don’t come right now. We, of course, won’t leave them there, and we really don’t want them to think that we will. Instead, we should focus on what we can control. For instance, (depending on the circumstances, of course) say your child doesn’t want to leave the toy aisle of the store; you could say instead, “I am leaving here in 1 minute. [Give them a warning, or count down; it helps to be proactive, remember?] Now you can come riding in the cart, or you can come walking.” (Or holding my hand, or holding the new toy, or without the new toy, etc.). We should always be honest in our discipline, because we want to not only discipline our children for Christ, but to teach them to be honest too.

Next, positive discipline should be clear. We can be proactive by clearing explaining our expectations and boundaries before hand. Many times it isn’t misbehavior as much as it is not knowing what their parents actually want. And when a child does misbehave and is in need of discipline, focus on the action rather than the child. We want to be clear in what the misbehavior was. For example, rather than saying “You were selfish and rude to your brother,” we could say, “Taking that toy away from him was rude, and we don’t want to be rude in our family. We want to share and be kind.” Then follow it up with a choice, such as, “Now do you want to give it back to him, or should I?” You clearly stated what was wrong with what he did, clearly how you wanted him to act, and clearly what you want him to do next. The clearer we are, and the more “thinking” words we use—words that make our child think rather than get defensive or want to fight—the more discipline is taking place. Because then the child is having to think about their actions, and how they should have handled it, and will handle it next time.

Next week, we will discuss how positive discipline should be fair, appropriate and level-headed. Again, feel free to comment on this post or my previous ones on positive discipline.

© CLUTCH, 2010 unless otherwise sourced.
Use allowed by express written permission only.
Tweets, trackbacks, and link sharing encouraged.

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