guest blog: friendship DRAMA

>> December 3, 2009


We talk about it again and again here on Clutch, so I know it's an important issue for pastors' wives. Well ladies, since moving to our current church almost two years ago I prayed for friends. And I got friends. And now I don't know what to do with them!

I forgot that along with friends comes DRAMA!

And now I want out. Not out of the friendships, but out of the drama. Away from the she said/she said mess. Far away from, "Can you believe that she...."

So I think it's time to look outside of the church for friends. But for me, there is no "outside of the church." I'm a stay-at-home-mom of a four year old and two year old. Our oldest son goes to preschool at our church. And when preschool ends, he'll be homeschooled.

Where do I find friends outside of the church? What has worked for you?

Sandra and her PH Lee live and serve in Pennsylvania. Check out the blog
she does with friends at Today's Housewife. You can follow also her on Twitter @HeartforHim.


Anonymous,  December 3, 2009 at 1:38 PM  

Joining a group called MOPS has helped...and becoming friends with other PW's in my area has truly been the biggest blessing!! I know I can call (and it goes both ways!) on them at any time and any hour!

KLee December 3, 2009 at 5:10 PM  

We have Mom to Mom at our church. We have lots of ladies from multiple churches in our area. Maybe another church offers it near you. I also work one day a week and have made friends there as well (even getting together outside of work hours).
What about moms you see regularly at the library or park?

Nikki December 4, 2009 at 8:57 AM  

I know as a pastor's wife how difficult it is to have true, authentic friendships at times. But, I also know that dealing with this "girl drama" is part of our ministry to women. It's difficult and challenging, and not fun, but it is true.
Please know I am continuing to pray.

Nikki December 4, 2009 at 8:58 AM  

One more thing...I am beginning to make friendships through the homeschool community, and it has been fun to meet other like-minded Christian women in this way!

Anonymous,  December 4, 2009 at 12:12 PM  

I am part of Bible Study Fellowship in our area. The nice thing is that people don't talk about what church they attend. They are just women who want to learn God's word - no politics. I don't even have to tell them I'm a PW if I don't want to!

e-Mom December 4, 2009 at 12:49 PM  

Hi Sandra,

I've met lots of wonderful women through aerobics classes. Not all are Christian, of course, but eventually you sniff out the ones who are. AND it's a great opportunity to witness to those who aren't.

As for female drama... yes, I'm beginning to feel like my current women's Bible study is a therapy group. Needed, for sure, but wearisome at times. :~D


e-Mom @ Chrysalis

Tanya December 5, 2009 at 11:48 PM  

I'm a stay at home, homeschool mom, and also a PW.

I am friends with a wonderful group of women I met through a loosely-knit home school park day group. I can honestly say that we do life together. It's wonderful.

And I agree with Nikki ... somehow we, as PWs, have to model how to deal with issues with our friends: the Biblical way, by going to the friend first, and by not listening to someone complain about another until they have tried to work it out with that person first. I know how very difficult this is. I pray that God continues to give you wisdom and grace to deal with the situations.

Sandra December 7, 2009 at 10:38 AM  

Thank you all for the encouragement and suggestions! It's good to remember that what we're called to do is not always what we want to do, but being used as an instrument of grace is part of our calling.

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Anonymous,  December 30, 2009 at 11:03 PM  

Again a gentle post. Thank your also pen-friend

vmchechile January 2, 2010 at 10:05 PM  

Story time at the library! It's been the only place I've found friends that aren't at our church. I graduated college almost 5 years ago and I try very hard to keep in contact with my good friends from college.

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